Slut has been asking me (bitching endlessly) to write about who, what, when, where and how I ended up in Mexico City.

I have been extremely busy (avoiding the blog because it’s a long one) and have been putting it off (I have been lazy).

So, just for her, I have put together this short (extremely long) entry.  Enjoy!

About five years ago, after ten long years of corporate whoring, the Absurdist had a long talk with herself.  Actually, it was more of a mental meltdown.  She finally had it with corporate America.  Of course, this discussion had occurred about every ten minutes of every day for the last ten years.  But for the sake of brevity (yeah, right), let’s just pretend that this is the first discussion.

Unfortunately, due to circumstances, the Absurdist was stuck in technology and really had no other skills.  So the Absurdist trudged along and continued down this abusive and horrific path.  Five years later, and seven or so years on the road 100%, the Absurdist have a very calm and proactive conversation with her employer at the time.  It went something like this… Sort of. And of course, this conversation is just a very small representation of what the Absurdist has experienced over the last fifteen years of working in technology corporate.

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E= Employer.

A=Absurdist.

E:   “So, we have been abusing you to clients after selling complete lies to those same clients.  We send you out and you are thrown into the lion’s den.  We lie to you, and then we don’t back you up.  We expect you to fix everything and lie to the client all along.  And if you fix the client’s problems too quickly, we beat you up because we can’t bill them for maximum hours.  When you do too good of a job, we have to punish you.  What do you have to say for yourself?”

A:   “Well, as far as I am concerned, the client pays our paycheck.   Seems to me that if we held our clients’ best interest in mind during the sales process, then our repeat sales with them would be tenfold of what they are, instead of our track record of returns.  Additionally, frankly, I really don’t appreciate being a placeholder for maximum billing when I pride myself on my abilities and skills.  If you want me to sit out at a client site and not fix problems so you can bill out as many hours as possible, I know where I can find a mannequin.”

E:    “Your answer is not only not what we don’t want to hear, but it is the truth.  And when you tell the truth, we have to put you on a plan with human resources to keep you from voicing the truth again. In addition to that, according to your plan with HR, should you make one more mistake again, we will get rid of you.”

A:    “So basically, because you do not want me to do my best, and you want me to lie to the clients, and you want me to do a poor job so that services sales can go out to the client and sell more billable hours because I didn’t do my job I am in trouble and am now on a plan with HR.  And this plan with HR is basically your way of firing me without firing me.”

E:    “Oh no.  Not at all.  it’s our way of making sure you are perfect and never make a mistake again.  It’s all on you what you choose to do or not.  Just don’t make a mistake again and you will be gainfully employed.  These mistakes include fixing anything that is broken at a client site before the very last hour is billed.”

A:    “You are serious, right?  Of course you are.  This is US Corporate.  Okay.  So, basically, you are the same company I have worked for the last 15 years, but you just have a different name.  The quality of my work means shit, and sales is all that is important, and short term gain is all that is important.  We don’t care about the longevity of the relationship of the client, and we don’t care what they think about us.  And you don’t care at all what they think about me or the work I do, and you will throw me under the bus with the client when it suits you and when it suits sales.  Oh, and when you have an expert on a new product that you release, and you didn’t train anyone, and you hire me to handle it for over one thousand customers, and I also have to support it internally, and I beg for help, and we also have no one to do custom development on it, and you lie to clients and lie to me, and make me do a 600 hour project and tell the client we can do it in 40 hours, you throw me under the bus to clients, and then you put me on an HR plan that is basically firing me but not firing me.  Do I understand this correctly?”

E:    “Perfectly.  You have it now.  I am so glad we could have this talk.  By the way.  The client that you are working with right now.  The one that is a 600 hour project that we said we would do in 40 hours.  Well, remember how they made you work through Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, every weekend, and you have been putting in over 120 hours a week for them?  And remember how they are stupid and are never satisfied?  And remember how they always complain about the fact that nothing is every done because the guy who sold them the package in 40 hours lied and took off and then was spotlighted by our company as being totally awesome?  Well, they are going to buy 4M USD in products from us.  But guess what?  They told us that they wouldn’t buy the products unless we fire you.  So we decided to let you hang yourself by putting you on this plan.  We also decided to conduct a witch hunt behind your back with everyone you have ever come in contact with in this company, without telling you.  Isn’t that fun?  And guess what?  Here is the most interesting part!  We didn’t find a damn thing on you!  But since we didn’t document it, we can fire you anyway, not call it ‘firing’, be really vague when we talk to you, and then just get in trouble with the Texas Workforce Commission when you talk to them.  It’s cheaper that way. Totally cool, huh?”

A:    “Wow.  That IS fun!  You are so creative!  I never would have thought to do that! but guess what?  I already knew about the client and the firing.  So wow!  I guess I AM smarter than you thought.  Amazing huh?”

E:    “Well, the good news is that we are going to let you go on Monday without telling ANY of the clients who are waiting on you to do customizations and help them with the product that only you can do.  And you know that client that is going to give the product back unless you fixed their issue that you have a meeting with one hour after we are going to let you go?  We don’t care!  Isn’t that great???”

A:    “I think that’s FABULOUS!  It’s right on par with your typical modus operandi!  I can’t wait for them to send the product back and sue your fucking ass!  Your sales team will be so proud of you!”

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And on and on it went.  The good news is that they “fired” me illegally, so I decided not to sue them if they gave me unemployment.

I had planned on “retiring” from technology in five years and pursuing writing.  But I was so worn out from traveling and being abused that fate, I guess, decided to do it early for me.  I was specifically homicidal; not generally.

My doctor had told me that not only did I have to get off the road, but I had to get out of corporate because I had been used and abused so much due to my niche skill set that it was killing me.  My primary care physician said I would have had a heart attack within five years.  I had no choice anyway.

Anyway, I decided that it was time for me to go ahead and start writing.  So I did.  I had to figure out what to do with my life.  I needed to live on the cheap, but it’s almost impossible to do so in the states.  My aunt has lived in Mex City for 20 years.  I decided to go on a little vacay down here in April to visit and to take care of her animals while she was gone for four days to visit my mother as well.  The goal was to relax and to see if it was some place that would be conducive to my writing and a place where I could make enough money to get my visa and stay.

I really enjoyed it, so I left to go back and decided to liquidate and store stuff and come down for the summer to give it a go.  I found a unique opportunity that should have worked out.  when I came back down, it didn’t appear as if it would.  Now it appears as if it might.  I am not saying it will, but it might.

Either way, I will stay if I can find a job that will make me enough money to prove for my visa and enough time to write my 2 trilogies that are in progress.

I am enjoying the culture.  I am not anti-American.  I love my country.  I am just done with corporate.  Additionally, I love studying this culture. I also get to learn about some other things that are pertinent to my books.

So that’s pretty much the story…