Well, good news. A job offer is in the system awaiting the final rubber stamp, and will be forwarded to me for acceptance very soon. This means that I won’t be knocking on your doors, dogs in tow, begging to sleep on your couch and eat your post toasties.
My pro-bono personal coach asked me what I am going to do to celebrate. Of course, the first thought in my mind was, “Uh, I shoulda had a job months ago if I weren’t such a lazy piece of crap, so do I really deserve to celebrate?” but I refrained from saying this knowing it would lead to nowhere. So, I have all these Best Buy gift certificates from 15 years of points on a credit card that I never redeemed. I had picked out three things from Best Buy that I wanted, and she said to go for it. I feel guilty using them, even though it’s “free money”. I can’t trade them for anything, and they are gift cards. But I feel guilty nonetheless, because money is so tight and I really can’t afford luxuries. And it’s a lot of money in gift cards.
Last night I slept. I mean, the kind where, once you finally fall asleep, the next thing you know, it’s morning. Although I do remember my dream. It had to do with selling my grandmother’s ring to make ends meet (I have not done this, yet, and don’t want to), and some big guy who was after me for gambling debts. I don’t gamble, but, whatever.
I am going home tomorrow. I am leaving the fantastic, beautiful and fun city of Llano and heading back to Dallas. Should all go well, I will start my new job next week. It’s 100% travel, like usual, so I need to be close to D/FW. Back to tin can hell. But I am not complaining. It’s a job, it puts food on the table, and it keeps me from having to liquidate all of my things, which I was looking at having to do. Thank you god for that.
In the interim, I need to find a solution for my dogs. When I was a consultant, I made enough money to put them with my vet each week. They stay at her house, sleep in her bed, etc. But this is an on-staff position, so I won’t be making as much money. Which means that the cost to keep them with my vet will be prohibitive. So I am going to try my best to act like a jew and negotiate. She’s a toughie; I doubt I will make any progress. 
So, if anyone is interested in two beautiful pain-in-the-ass brother Lhasa Apsos, and is willing to keep them together, give them lots of love and kisses all day long, lots of hoofies, lots of toys, and let them sleep on the pillows in your bed, let me know. High maintenance is an understatement.
19 responses so far ↓
1 laughingattheslut // Jul 8, 2008 at 8:31 am
Are you still going to be in Frisco?
laughingatthesluts last blog post..Not much of a bang
2 Absurdist // Jul 8, 2008 at 8:36 am
Slut: Yup. Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!
3 dmarks // Jul 8, 2008 at 8:51 am
My childhood best friend whom I’ve not seen for 30+ years had a Lhaso Apso mop-dog. I don’t think I’ve seen one since.
dmarkss last blog post..Saturday Scavenger Hunt Word - "Drink"
4 Avitable // Jul 8, 2008 at 9:13 am
“Act like a Jew and try to negotiate”?
Real niiiice.
Avitables last blog post..A face for radio
5 Absurdist // Jul 8, 2008 at 9:20 am
Dmarks: I get mine cut like a schnauzer… But it’s really cute.
Avi: You know how us Texans are. The only jew we have in Texas is Dell. I figure Shiny Male can give me some hints.
6 Robin // Jul 8, 2008 at 9:56 am
I’d be offended by the Jew comment but it’s true.
7 Absurdist // Jul 8, 2008 at 10:06 am
Okay, now, wait a sec. I talk to Shiny male about this from time to time, and he has no problem with it. It was intended as a fucking joke.
And frankly, it’s a compliment to the jews. They are damned good at negotiating.
Stop being so sensitive. I’m white trash, but you don’t see me going around getting all offended when people talk about white trash.
8 Avitable // Jul 8, 2008 at 10:07 am
Yeah, racism’s okay when it’s a joke.
Avitables last blog post..A face for radio
9 Absurdist // Jul 8, 2008 at 10:14 am
Avi:
Uh, I wouldn’t consider that statement racist, but okay. Whatever floats your boat.
10 laughingattheslut // Jul 8, 2008 at 10:54 am
Hey, while we’re on the subject, how did you know from the comment on the previous post that I was white?
laughingatthesluts last blog post..Not much of a bang
11 Absurdist // Jul 8, 2008 at 10:57 am
Oh hell, I just assumed you were white because you lived in the NICE part of Dallas. I mean, god, we don’t have BLACK people in the bad parts of Dallas. Jews, maybe, (I have four or five Jewish friends that are a hell of a lot smarter than me), but Black people? God no.
‘course, you could be Mexican. Shit, Latino. Fuck. Latin American. Jesus Christ on a popsicle stick, I mean, Hispanic.
12 Penelope // Jul 8, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Super congrats on the new job! Can’t really help with the dogs what with there being an ocean in the way ;o)
Penelopes last blog post..Are you looking at my food?
13 Finn // Jul 8, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Sorry about the dogs, hon. I’ll keep my ears open, but I’m not hopeful. I have two spoiled ones of my own…
Congrats on the job.
Finns last blog post..Fiction Challenge: Reader’s Choice
14 Tug // Jul 8, 2008 at 12:30 pm
YAY on the job - MUCH luck with that!! Have you tried freecycle for the pups, or maybe ask your vet for a referral family? Maybe even a foster family until you get back on your feet?
Tugs last blog post..Starfish
15 themuttprincess // Jul 8, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Congrats on the job!
I sure hope you find something for your doggies!
themuttprincesss last blog post..Totally Tuesday, bab-ee!
16 Evil Genius // Jul 8, 2008 at 6:27 pm
YAY YOU!!!! I’m so happy for you I’m doing the happy dance! And next there may be wine!!!
Evil Geniuss last blog post..Starbucks Schadenfreude
17 Evil Genius // Jul 8, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Forgot to say I wish I could take your two pooches. They would definitely sleep in my bed and on my pillow…unless my cats chased them off, course! lol
Evil Geniuss last blog post..Starbucks Schadenfreude
18 Nat // Jul 9, 2008 at 1:19 pm
What’s a hoofie… that’s really what I want to know…
Congrats on the job.
Nats last blog post..Up here so high the boughs the break…
19 Absurdist // Jul 11, 2008 at 7:00 am
Hi guys. Sorry so late in responding. No excuse.
Penelope: Thanks girl!
Finn: I know what it’s like. I would be so picky about who gets them I am not sure I could find the right person.
Tug: I haven’t heard of freecycle. I will look into it. The good news is that my vet would take them and help me find someone. She thinks of them as her own, since they stay at her house when I travel. So that’s good.
Princess: Thanks girl!
Genius: I hope you drank a whole fricken’ bottle for me!
Nat: I get that all the time. Okay, you know how you can buy cow hooves for your dogs to chew on? I call them “hoofies”. If you didn’t know, now you know you can buy them. They are like crack for dogs.
Come on man. You know you want to say something!