(This post requires suspension of disbelief with respect to the National Organization of Women being filled with a bunch of dyke’y bitches).
Over the last thirty years, as we all know, our mothers worked hard to create equality with men both in the workplace and in the home. For the most part, it has been quite effective. I believe in different but equal rather than better than equal (espoused by the NOW dykes). But for the sake of using SOME woman’s organization to support my cause, I have chosen NOW.
NOW has not been able to infiltrate certain religious sects. Due to several passages in that book of the holy lord supported by Avitable, women must defer to their man. Somewhere in that holy book of god, it also talks about a man being able to take multiple wives.
Now that all things are equal, for the most part, it is time to revise our interpretation of said holy book of the lord. I submit to you that our lord on high used the word “man” to represent mankind, which includes men and women. This having been said, us women now have the opportunity to follow god’s word to the letter of the law and make some changes in the turbo-Christian world (Avitable, notice that I spelled out the whole word Christian.)
In these religious sects, women outnumber men substantially. Therefore, I submit for your consideration that our regular world adopt the words of the holy lord on high, and take into consideration reverse polygamy. It is time for us women to band together and take on multiple husbands, and have them submit to our will. We already do this with one husband; why not take it to a new level? Think of the things we can get done around the house after training. Think of how many hot young men we can take as a husband under the age of 18. We would now finally have enough husbands that would take care of all that shit all over the house. They would have to obey us, regardless of what they really want, because what they want would be irrelevant.
We would be able to have sex with a different man every night, and rotate back. We don’t even have to do that. If we prefer one man over another, we just sleep with that man as often as we want. And, as the primary ruler of our households, we would be able to get together for girls’ night anytime we wanted. The men would be required to stay at home and care for the children as we run around and carouse the night away.
We can require that the men toil the fields, or work in the workplace. The likelihood of the middle-class disappearing would all but be eradicated. No more cooking; our men would cook for us. We would have more time to read the good book, and find more things to interpret that require the reverence of our men upon us.
Since there are fewer men than women from which we can choose, I submit that we put together a lottery for the men to be dispensed upon the female households. Of course, there would be certain requirements to uphold a certain level of living conditions before another husband would be allowed, but we can make it work. Not all women will want more than two husbands; some will want more. So it all works out in the wash.
The other good thing is that the men won’t call in and say that they have been sexually abused. No more will we have to hide in fear of being found out. Men and women will be happy. And if we get bored of them, we can always trade them out either for a short period of time, or indefinitely.
Women of the world unite. We have enough voting and lobbying power to make this come true. All we need to do is band together as women, and make this happen. Let’s do it!
15 responses so far ↓
1 Kyra (savy) // Apr 13, 2008 at 8:43 am
Would you REALLY want more than one guy running around the house asking where he put his keys? I mean, seriously…
Oh, and I haven’t found a single guy under 20 attractive since I was 16. I like a man to look like a man.
I think I’d be happier with a Rent-A-Harem kind of thing. “I’d like 3 men for the weekend please…”
Kyra (savy)’s last blog post..In Season
2 Robin // Apr 13, 2008 at 8:54 am
One man is enough for me, unless they want to have sex with each other while also cooking me dinner and taking care of the house.
Robin’s last blog post..Coffee And Expresso
3 Winter // Apr 13, 2008 at 9:19 am
I’m down with that. Sounds like a religion I can totally get behind. Not into the under 18 set, but there are a few 23 yr olds I think are hot. (I have pics. I will share with you! LOL)
Winter’s last blog post..Loves Fab’s Fisting and Matt’s Meat
4 Mr. Fabulous // Apr 13, 2008 at 9:26 am
I can’t toil in the fields. I freckle.
Mr. Fabulous’s last blog post..Robin rhymes with ?bobbin? on my nobbin??
5 Rxvenomqueen // Apr 13, 2008 at 9:27 am
Sweet blog! I like your way of thinking! I think all women love a man with dish pan hands and a man that will submit to your every need and desire. Hmph…that would be too nice, wouldn’t it?
6 Shiny // Apr 13, 2008 at 10:08 am
I don’t think this is what you really want. Have you ever been sequestered in a house full of hormonal men whose cycles have synchronized? Not pretty.
And if you think that anyone in the home will ever refrain from “leaving the seat up” under this arrangement, you’re sadly mistaken.
Shiny’s last blog post..OET Chapter II: Acquired Memories
7 Absurdist // Apr 13, 2008 at 10:53 am
Kyra II:
Yeah, that harem thing is a really good idea. I would just be happy if we had male hookers.
Robin:
Ugh - not sure I could get used to the sight of men having sex with each other in real person. But they definitely have to clean the house.
Winter:
True. We should probably keep it to 18 and above. But damn, there are some 18 year olds that are damned hot.
Fab:
Tough shit. You think those little girls ask to have sex and take care of the home, growing the food and everything? You can just wear a full length dress and a bonnet.
Rxvenomqueen:
Damn straight! Do you have a blog?
Shiny:
That’s what dog shock collars are for.
8 Jim // Apr 13, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Since our great grandfathers made the mistake of giving you women the vote, and our grandfathers made the mistake of allowing you women to own property there has been no stopping you. However, two big good old boys’ clubs stand in your way. Pope Julianna and Ayatola A’isha sound good to me.
I am more than willing to get our of your way and let you women run the whole world. You can’t do a worse job than men have done. Just don’t try to make me wear a chador, niqab or burka. It would unreasonable interfere with my fishing (and my house work).
9 dmarks // Apr 13, 2008 at 1:06 pm
We had a couple of these religious sects operating in our general area over a hundred years ago. They liked to find a remote islands and set up camp. One of them even called himself a king, and was recognized as such. It seems like so often the main thing the founder wants is to have as many women as possible, and sometimes, as young as possible too.
One of them was Mormon splinter group. Like we haven’t heard about those in the news recently.
dmarks’s last blog post..Putting winter complaints in perspective
10 Robin // Apr 13, 2008 at 1:08 pm
We don’t have to watch, it just gives us a few days at least to do our nails and stuff.
Robin’s last blog post..Coffee And Expresso
11 Rxvenomqueen // Apr 13, 2008 at 4:34 pm
I sure do, but it’s not nearly as interesting as some of the things I’ve read in the blogosphere, yours included. Here’s my page:
http://rxvenomqueen.blogspot.com/
I’m looking forward to reading some more of your stuff!
12 Ginamonster // Apr 13, 2008 at 6:34 pm
what if they all got sick at the same time? Men are pussies when they’re sick. I have this vision of them all wandering around the house delirious and asking for sympathy.
Meanwhile, I have enough trouble keeping track of one, when I have one. Several would be too many for me. But I certainly wouldn’t argue your right to have more!
Ginamonster’s last blog post..A small contest
13 Winter // Apr 13, 2008 at 10:57 pm
FYI… RxVenomQueen is the female Shiny I refer to in my blog.
Winter’s last blog post..Melancholy Marcus Monday
14 jester // Apr 14, 2008 at 12:41 am
Great, just what every needs… a house full of dirty socks laying around, cigar smoke, and synchronized ball scratching.
Do you think, since it’s 2008 and all, we could find a better way to refer to lesbians (or the members of NOW) other than “dyke-y bitches?”
I’m just sayin’
jester’s last blog post..Friday Hotness
15 Absurdist // Apr 14, 2008 at 5:37 am
Dad:
Um, please never ever wear a burka. I would rather see you in an horrifically-patterned moo moo before a burka.
Dmarks:
Weren’t those called Roman Emperors? Just sayin’.
Robin:
Okay, you have GOT to start listening to me about outsourcing some things, such as your nails.
Shiny Girl:
God, that’s a lot easier to write than Rxvenomqueen.
Gina:
God, I never thought of that. You are so right. Gonna have to hire help when that situation comes along, and quarantine them to man-sick island, like the isle of lesbos where women used to go when they had their periods (greek history).
Winter:
Cool. I have been trying to figure out who female shiny is for ages, but was too afraid to ask!
Jester:
But Jester, they ARE dyke’y bitches. Only the NOW chicks; oh and those chicks at Denny’s that wanted to kill me just for existing. You know I am not prejudiced; I think that they should ALL be called gay, male or female. Why do THEY get a special word?
Come on man. You know you want to say something!