Welcome to Freewriting Friday. If you would like to participate, please head on over to Metalmom’s site. She came up with this great idea (actually, I think it might be Shelli’s, but I am not sure. If so, I apologize!) We write for five minutes as free association, or stream of consciousness. For those of you who have trouble finding a timer, I have been using this timer for a long time for many different things. It’s totally web-based, and will count up or down, with a ding at the end. I love it! Participants so far (there may be more by the time this is posted; check on MM’s site for the complete list):
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I am not allowed to talk about Mr. X, but I can’t get Mr. X out of my mind. You see, Mr. X and I talk every day; sometimes for very long periods of time. Mr X is someone I can’t get out of my mind either. so, you can imagine how sad I was when I didn’t hear from Mr. X for two days. In fact, I need to learn a lesson. It’s perfectly okay not to hear from a guy for a couple of days, even when you talk every day. I guess since I am so lonely, and my conversations with Mr. X are so really great, I missed it. I tend to think the worst when a guy doesn’t call me or write me in awhile. Two days is ridiculous for me to think that that’s “awhile”. It’s just that this is the first time in a long time a guy likes me, and I am REALLY into him. He is awesome; he is smart; he is cute, and he is wonderful. Now I am not allowed to beat myself up anymore, and that’s probably a good thing. I have to give Mr. X credit for bringing me to a place where I don’t talk badly about myself. Not that i am doing it for him; he was just the impetus for me to start doing something healthy. I really like Mr X. So I have to talk about something else. I went on a job interview yesterday, and it was weird. I couldn’t read the guy to save my life. It’s a good company, but I left still not understanding the job. It’s a management job, but the questions were weird and seemed like it was more of a development job. I have gotten into cooking. I want to be domestic. Something changed in me in January. You know me; never wanted kids, etc. But in January, for some reason, all that changed. I wanted to be domestic; I wanted to stay home and take ccare of kids. I have always looked down upon that, but not for the reasons youw ould expect. Probably because I never had a chance to do that. Because I believe that is the hardest work on teh world. All i want to do is stay home, take care of kids, and write in my spare time. I also have a hard time thinking of someone else taking care of me financially. But I really want to experience my feminie side. I want to have that traditional household. I would love to take ccare of a little girl and bring her the joy that I never experienced in my lifetime. Is that wrong? Am I being weak? Do you think that I am nbeing stupid for wanting that? Do you think that I am dipping down? I admire every woman I know that does this; and yet, forsome reason, for me, I feel like I would be a bad person if I did this. Okay, timer went off.
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If I missed your name and you participated in freewrite friday, please post below.
4 responses so far ↓
1 Shiny // Mar 14, 2008 at 6:35 am
The best kind of relationships are with those who help you feel good about yourself. If the impetus of change is coming from you because you feel that you’re worth it, I think it’s great.
(I sound like a L’Oreal commercial…)
Shiny’s last blog post..Lazy Sunday (stolen from Avitable)
2 Kyra Sutra // Mar 14, 2008 at 1:00 pm
If you’re anything like me (which you are) then you’d get really fucking sick of being a stay at home mom…lol. I’m only one because to get a job is to work solely to pay for the fucking child care. That shit is so expensive. I’m counting down the days until all four of them are in school so I can get out and get a job! I love to work. I hate to babysit. I love my kids but I don’t like to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with them. We drive each other crazy.
I’ll share Dean with you if you want. He’s a fantastic lay.
Kyra Sutra’s last blog post..feckin? Kids!
3 laughingattheslut // Mar 15, 2008 at 4:39 am
I don’t know about this. If you’ve felt a certain way about things all your life and then you change your mind a few months ago, don’t go do anything drastic. Maybe this is just a weird surge of hormones and it will go away.
laughingattheslut’s last blog post..The mysteriously vanishing iced tea machine
4 Absurdist // Mar 15, 2008 at 4:58 am
Shiny: That, indeed, is true. The impetus, actually, was when I was considering uterine ablation, and I just couldn’t go through with it. I had to be honest with myself, adn realize why I was burned out and what I really wanted. I have been doing self-reflection now for about three months.
Kyra: Again, right. I have a feeling that aftera few years, I would go nuts. At least it would give me an opportunity to write, because that’s my goal now for my career.
Slut: i also agree with you. I burned out very badly on corporate ladder climbing. Worry not; I just gut a three year birth control imnplant in my arm on thursday that can be taken out at any time!
Come on man. You know you want to say something!