Yesterday, you had an opportunity to ask girly-girl questions. I threw out some topics of interest, and some of you took me up on that and then some. Today, we delve into the answers to the questions asked. Enjoy! This is a LONG ASS post. I think I am going to do a weekly column from now on.

Wayne:

1. My question is - do girly-girls consider themselves ‘girly’ or do they just think they’re normal?

Wayne, it is unfortunate, but most girly-girls think that they are normal, and that tomboy-girls are gross. I do not espouse that belief, but when I look at the girls from my sci-fi group, all I want to do is shove them into a van, blindfold them, take them to my house, actually PUT a small amount of makeup on them, if just to cover the blemishes and even out their tone, and throw them at my hairdresser. Good god. I swear. And I don’t mean you BPR. I have seen your picture. You are very pretty.

So the bottom line is, I do not believe that girly-girls are the norm; rather, since I am from Austin, I would imagine that the “natural” girl is the norm. It’s all relative though. Here in Dallas, I go to the grocery store without having showered in two days and I look like a hobo. No one in Dallas goes to the grocery store unless they are in full makeup.

Beware men who say that they like natural women. They really mean, please even out your skin tone, wear some makeup that looks natural and get highlights and lowlights that are barely noticeable, or look natural, or at least to me.

Karl:

1. What about the pitfalls of keeping Nair and shampoo right next to each other in the shower?

Ah, yes. The infamous question from all men. Good news. We only throw the Nair into the shower to increase the chance of of accidental man-scaping. Women know you don’t use Nair in the shower. Duhhhh.

Shiny:

1. Fake nails are awesome. I chew through a pack a day.

Um, okay. I would imagine that you look really gay with that plastic bin of #3’s, 4’s and 5’s sitting on your desk. I hope you don’t wear pink to work.

BluePaintRed

1. I want to learn about waxing - home and salon. and why I get that one really strong - like wire bristle hair on my upper lip. its just the one, but every time i pull it out it comes back!

WAXING THE EYEBROWS, CHIN AND NECK:

Okay, here’s my experience. When I wax at home, I don’t do such a good job. I mean, I know how, but the wax that you buy is either too weak or too strong. There are two types of waxing; real wax and sugar-wax. Sugar-wax is like “Nads”. Ever tasted Nads? It tastes good. It’s a weak type of waxing; doesn’t get the root as well, and kinda sucks. I don’t recommend it. A real wax is what you want. I recommend, provided you don’t have terribly sensitive skin, getting your upper lip, chin and neck waxed, along with your eyebrows. Please be careful if you have this done at an Asian salon. I once had an experience where they put the wax too low on my eyebrows, and they pulled the skin off. Not only did it hurt like hell, but I looked like a clown for three weeks.

If you are afraid of waxing (I was the first time), start with the eyebrows. And do it at that nice salon you were talking about. The nice thing about waxing the eyebrows too is that once you do it, as the hair grows back in, you can just pluck against the line that they created, keeping you from having to wax your brow for a long time. I need to go get them waxed to “re-establish” the proper line for my eyebrows. Next week, I will create a video showing the proper way to pluck your eyebrows, and what exactly you need to pluck, if you aren’t interested in getting it waxed. As for getting the facial hair removed, I too have the wiry hairs. I will explain in the next paragraph. Try the eyebrows first. If you are okay with that, get the chin and neck, or wherever your wiry hairs are. The more you wax, the less the hair comes back, or it comes back in lighter and not as wiry. It just “gives up” trying to come back. You would be amazed at the difference once you get your eyebrows plucked; if you don’t, it will be subtle, but noticeable. It opens your eyes, and gives you a subtle but attractive look that allows you to have more “natural beauty.” If you are into natural beauty, this is a must. Also, at the nicer salons, immediately after they pull the wax, they should roll a cool “ball” against the area that they just waxed to prevent any irritation or redness (or put a cooling lotion on). Expect a little bit of redness, though, that will go away after 30 minutes to one hour.

If you have sensitive skin, you are going to kinda need to stick with plucking or suck it up and wax. I have EXTREMELY sensitive skin. I will use a chemical hair remover designed for the face (but I don’t recommend it for sensitive skin, I just suck it up), because I am lazy and don’t get to the salon to get waxed. The problem with the chemical hair removers, including the ones for the face is just that; they are chemical. They will irritate the HELL out of sensitive skin. I learned the hard way to NEVER use it the day that I need the hair removed (like for a date, or for a party or whatever). I MUST use the chemical hair remover TWO DAYS before the “event”, since my skin gets red. It will also precipitate breakouts, or what “seems” like a breakout, but is usually irritation bumps. Be SURE to buy like, Sally Hansen for face; or one that comes with a cooling lotion. NEVER wax your eyebrows yourself, unless you have been getting your eyebrows waxed for years. Please trust me on this. You will end up with no eyebrows due to lack of experience. Remember, the more you wax, the more your hair will not grow back in. That is but only one reason old ladies have to draw in their eyebrows. In the past, almost no eyebrow was the “in” thing. Now they have no eyebrows.

WIREY HAIR ON THE LIP, CHIN AND NECK:

As we age, because of the processed food that we eat, we tend to develop a bit of “Insulin Resistance”. This is the precursor to diabetes. Not all of us develop this, but most of us do, and never know it (women, that is). The processed food (PB&J, white, and even NON-WHOLE-WHEAT “wheat bread”, corn syrup, you name it) is what contributes to Type II diabetes, which comes after excessive Insulin resistance. Now, let’s talk about what that is.

As we age, we tend to gain weight, unless we take a lot of measures to keep that from happening. Even those of us (I hate you) who don’t gain weight as we get older are susceptible to becoming sensitive to sugars. Now, remember, everything breaks down into a “sugar”, it’s just the rapidity with which the food is processed into a sugar (processed food). The pancreas, as we get older, has trouble keeping up with the need to produce insulin after years and years of processed food. We age, we get wrinkles, we lose collagen, blah blah. But our number one offender is years of processed food abuse. Here’s the kicker. Once you start to develop even a mild case of insulin resistance (most of us women have it), your testosterone level increases. I have “mildish” insulin resistance, due to weight and bad eating habits. My testosterone is mildly elevated. Because of the increase in testosterone, we begin to get wiry hair on our face, just like men do. And other parts of our body too. I have one rogue hair that used to grow on my booby. Sorry guys, but it’s a fact of life. My wiry hairs are always on my chin and neck. Drives me nuts. Most insulin resistance is found during attempts to conceive. PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) is the EFFECT of insulin resistance; NOT the cause. Women will be put on oral diabetes medication to help conceive. Additionally, acne on the lower portion of the face, like where a man gets a beard, is a tell-tale sign of insulin resistance. I have it in spades. Again, it’s due to the increase in testosterone. Hormones, baby, hormones. Cause of all our woes as women.

How do you keep that from happening? Get healthy. Eat non-processed foods. Eat a shitload more veggies. Eat six times a day. Eat 2 oz of protein six times a day. Drink water, and get rid of corn syrup in your diet. Regular sugar is much preferable to corn syrup. At least it’s not processed. I don’t mean go overboard, but definitely get those processed carbs under control. Southbeach has it right; just eat the RIGHT type of carbs; eat food that takes awhile to digest. This will reduce the increase/spike of insulin in the body, and thus, eliminate the insulin resistance, get you off oral diabetes medication, and theoretically get rid of the acne and wiry hair. Again, some of it is just age; remember our moms; they had that one rogue hair when they got older? Some of that is just hormonal as we age.

2. I tried heels twice - they are not for me. trust me.

HOW TO WEAR HEELS

Girl, I am so with you. I asked my SIL and mother how long it took for them to get used to heels. They said that they couldn’t remember, because they have been wearing heels since high school.

Okay, here’s the BIG SECRET to wearing heels.

Get your heeled shoes one to two sizes bigger than your actual feet.

Go narrow if you need to get them to “stick” to your heel and ankle. Your toes will not go into the toe-box, and you will thank me for this. I wear a 9, and I buy my heels in 10 to 10 1/2. I build callouses (I HATE THAT, it’s so painful) on the outside of my little toe, the outside of my big toe, and the outside of my fourth toe (it sticks are farther). If you let the pedicure people remove that callous, you have to start over. The same is true for runners. So, be careful if you do decide to start wearing kitten heels (1.5 to 2 inches). Also, It takes me about three months to get back “into” heels. Since I work from home so much, when I get back on the road, I hate it, because I have to go through it all again. Here’s another trick; I wear my crocs to work because I get there at around 5:30 a.m. I wear the crocs while I am sitting at my desk. If I have to get up, go to a meeting, or whatever, I slip my heels on. I keep them off as much as possible. You will see me limp for three months if I wear my heels straight out 100% of the time. Ease into kittens, two sizes to large, and try NOT to stand in them. Keep moving.

3. I am So dry i am peeling skin off my face Like i was sunburned or I am oily and covered in pimples. I would like a little in between that please.

WHAT TO DO ABOUT THIS DAMNED DRY SKIN AND HAIR THAT WE GET AS WE AGE:

First things first. Our skin is the largest organ of our body. It is the outward reflection of what we do to our bodies on the inside. That having been said, again, age has a lot to do with our dry skin too. HORMONES! Skin moisture is really just the ability for the skin to retain moisture (water) NOT oils. Our skin does need a little bit of oils, but mostly, we need to be able to retain water in our skin. As we age, unfortunately, our skin has trouble doing that. So we have to augment. Why do they continue to sell us hope in a bottle? Because it contains a LOT of water and the oils that are used in the moisturizers are just there to help keep the water in the skin.

1. Take an Omega 3 supplement. Most women do not get enough omegas for their body. We sure do get enough fat, but not enough good oils like our need for Omegas. Eat lots of fish.

2. You gotta drink water. 64-100 ounces. Now, it doesn’t work unless you reduce the sodium in your diet. Seriously. Eat plain veggies. I use Ms. Dash, a little bit of adobo (be careful, this is really high in sodium) and generally try to keep my salt down. Otherwise, all that water is just going to get stored in your fat, and not be used to hydrate the skin.

3. You don’t HAVE to use that Irish Spring. Deodorant and regular soaps strip all the good stuff off your skin. Make sure you use Aveeno or some kind of “moisture” type soap, or get a thingy and that liquid moisturizing soap. I save regular soap for under my arms and various other personal places (NOT recommended for personal places, but I don’t care). Afterward, WHILE YOU ARE STILL WET AND HAVE NOT DRIED OFF, use Aveeno bath and body oil. Rub it all over the water on your skin. Oils on water facilitate water being kept IN the skin. Again, I like Aveeno because I have sensitive skin. If you just HAVE to use that regular soap, augment with the body oil. PAT your skin dry. Because the water is now sufficiently suffused into your skin, you don’t have to rub. Be careful to use the same towel for body, and the other one for hair. Don’t forget and mix them up next shower, because the oils rubbed off are still in your “body” towel.

4. Put your “hope in a bottle” on while your face is still damp, not wet. The whole point of those stupid things is to retain “moisture” (water) in the skin. Do the expensive ones work? Well, in my experience they do, but I am lucky in that I come from a line of women (NOT my mother, but her mother) that doesn’t wrinkle easy, even though I do have them. Your collagen is going to go away as you age anyway. Suck it up, or get botox or rejuv or something. More on that later. Oh, and Preparation H is great for puffy and red skin around the eyes.

5. Augment skin with great moisturizers. I LOVE “Look Ma, New Hands” from Bath and Body Works. But it’s expensive as hell (a large bottle is $18), so I use it on my hands only. You will get better use if you exfoliate your hands two to three times a week. Those “old hands” that you see? NOT necessarily that you are “getting old”. Dead, dry skin will sit in those lines and make your hands look old as shit. Exfoliate. You can use a lot of things for exfoliation. Did you know that sugar is a great exfoliator? Don’t buy those really expensive ones. Do the following:

• Wash hands
• Get a handful of sugar, and rub your hands vigorously for about a minute.
• Get vaseline, and rub it on your hands with the sugar. Continue to rub.
• Wash hands.
• Put moisturizer on your hands.

Seriously.

6. Dry hair: Again, hormones and a lack of good oils. Make sure to take those Omegas. Here’s the other kicker. You don’t have to wash your hair but every three days. Get this; the more you wash your hair, the more damaged it gets. If you can suck it up and not wash your hair but every two days for a month, then every three days from that point forward, your hair will not only be healthier, but will stop producing all those yucky oils and won’t be so dry. It will be much healthier. Plus, you won’t have to blow dry your hair so much, which is a horrible offender of dry hair. Also, get yourself a leave-in silicone “oil” to put on your hair. I just learned this: if you put product in your hair (just the silicone thing), and the hairdryer never touches any hair without product on it, that’s the key. No hair on your head should be touched with a dryer unless it has product on it to protect the hair. Cool, huh? And do use an expensive shampoo. First of all, you only have to use a quarter-sized dollup of shampoo. It won’t sudz up. I know. You gotta get used to it. Plus, did you know that if you just scrub your scalp, as you rinse, the shampoo is sufficient to pull the oils and nasty shit out of the rest of your hair? NEVER apply conditioner to your scalp. Apply it mid to end on your hair. Use a comb and comb through the hair in the shower. Helps a lot. Also, the expensive shampoo will last as long as the cheap shampoo. That cheap shampoo will strip your hair, causing it to be drier. Seriously. Just suck it up and get used to no sudz.

MAMMOGRAMS

Thanks for the info. I don’t have to have one till I am 40. I have DDD boobs, and I heard that it’s worse for people with smaller boobs. I have no idea if that’s true, but I am not looking forward to it!

UROLOGIST

Yup. Good idea. Prostate cancer; bad bad bad. I am glad he is doing that. Most men won’t. Not sure what age that they need to start, but I am sure it has to do with instances of cancer within the family.

Slut:

1. Since I have already had a mammogram, I’ll vote for the topic before that which begins “now that I am over 30″ WTF???

I am so glad someone asked. I figured you’d be the one.

So what the HELL are you talking about Chelle?

A very few of us are blessed with getting boils in the folds of the outside of our vijajay (not outside the lips; in the folds). The first time I had one, I was terrified. I thought I had Herpes, and I was FREAKING out. It was only one bump, and it started to grow about a week before my period. It hurt like HELL. As I approached my period, the fucking thing grew and got MORE painful. I thought I was going to die. It got so painful that I had to have my second husband lance it before I could go to the OBGYN. Next time I was at the OBGYN, I asked about it. The bitch told me she had never heard about it. Great. I still got them EVERY month before my period. After moving a couple of times and finding a better OBGYN, she told me that happens to a lot of women. Seriously? WTF? I had never had one of those in my life! I realized that I never started having them till I started having issues with my insulin. HORMONES. And age. So here’s what the deal is with this:

My hormones are out of whack. Increased testosterone, blah blah. As I approach my period, it gets worse. Now, I have HORRIBLE periods because of my insulin resistance and my age. Truism; if you haven’t had children and you are over thirty, periods get worse, and your ability to conceive goes to shit. But I digress. Attached to one of my veins in the folds of the outside of my vijayja (about an inch or so below my clit), for some reason, one or more of the pores decides not to function correctly or something. It’s hormonal. Definitely. And age. Insulin resistance. As my hormones get more out of whack as I approach my period, the worse it gets. The blood and clear shit starts backing up against the vein. The “bump” grows bigger and bigger. What I notice is that I get them in about three different places; never the same place every month. They are indeed right up against a vein, and they hurt like a motherfucker. I HAVE to lance them, because they push the skin out so far that it can’t take it. Most times, if I am willing to endure the pain, they will break by themselves, or go away after my period is done. Purely hormonal. And purely age. So, (cover your eyes), I take a needle or a safety pin, run fire over it for 30 seconds to kill whatever is on it, lay down with a towel, and cringe and scream. I have to pull that boil taught, and pierce it multiple times. After it gets to about half the size, the rest will drain out by itself. If you get them rarely, go to your OBGYN to get it drained. If you are like me, and you get them every month, get your insulin under control, and pop those suckers. Suck it up. It hurts like fucking hell. Not to mention squeezing the blood out. OMG, I hate it, and I don’t ever get used to it. If you have one of these, lance that fucker. You don’t have to worry about putting hydrogen peroxide or anything on it. Believe it or not, uric acid in your urine is sufficient to kill any bacteria that might cause an infection. I know, gross. But there are several men that swear by that in terms of not getting VD. And I am not a doctor, so I do not espouse that in any capacity, but it seems to have worked for them. But I AM NOT A DOCTOR.

Robin:

1. Waxing your hot pocket:

I gotta tell you; I am no good on this one. Did you catch the Kyra talk about Brazilian? I think you missed it because we talked about it in chat on BTR. Let me address what I learned from Kyra in a different post, because I need to do some additional reasearch.

2. Your makeup:

Of course!!!! But would you please have your MOH get in touch with me?

3. Your Nails:

Just so you know, I am big into “classic”. Now, I will get my nails done when I have to do sales calls and look all phony. I mean fake nails. But I have found, and it’s just my personal opinion, that when I look at wedding photos of women from the past, I just don’t like the way the fake nails look in the pictures. I like the nice, groomed and manicured but short nails. I think that fake nails just don’t go over well in photography. And dear god, no color. It’s trendy, and your pictures will look much more classy if you go with french or american manicure and shorter nails. If you bite, get some fakies, but put them literally JUST PAST your fingertips so that they look natural, and don’t make them all rounded. Squarish on front, rounded on the corners. That look has sustained popularity for twenty or so years. That rounded look is so old school.

DMarks

1. “Shoes: what are lesbian shoes? What are sexy shoes? ”

Okay, let’s talk about this. Lesbian shoes are any shoes that are NOT aesthetically pleasing and are meant for comfort only. If you disagree, TOO BAD! It’s true. I wear a specific loafer for work. I wear tailored pants and tailored button downs. I found out that, in various places that I go to work (ie Georgia), they started questioning my sexuality. So, what I realized is that, when I sell services or products, it is my responsibility to make the client comfortable by dressing the way that they do. It sucks, but that’s sales. Okay, I digress. Here is a list of lesbian shoes:

• ANY shoe that is touted as a comfortable shoe, and is ugly as fuck.
• Most loafers, especially ones that have no flexibility (like a man’s loafer). Other soft loafers are fine. I wear soft loafers when I am too lazy to wear heels.
• ANY women’s shoe (not running shoes, etc) WITH A RUBBER HEEL. I don’t care who you are; unless you are a nurse or are on your feet all day, THIS IS A NO NO.
• Crocs are okay. I have been wearing them almost all the time for three years.

More shoe information:

• ALWAYS go classic. Don’t wear open-toed shoes at work if you are in management or have to interface with clients or customers. Unless you are in retail. Go classic at work.
• Kitten heels are fine at work. Go with a classic heel. Buy expensive, but make sure it’s quality. It will last you forever.
• Women throw away shoes too early. BUY CLASSIC so it doesn’t go out of fashion. Buff and shine those shoes. Get a kit, and get those scuffs off those shoes. Clean up those heels and get the dirt off of them. Did you know you are judged by your shoes and your watch?
• And while we are on the subject, NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER buy a piece of clothing where you can see the seam stitching if you are wearing it to work. PLEASE DEAR GOD NEVER EVER DO THIS. It’s a sign of shitty-ass work, and it means that they are over-charging you for cheap, cheap work.
• ALWAYS BUY CLASSIC. Get a few “in shoes” for fun, but wear classic to work, and never ever ever ever ever wear open-toed shoes to work. When I hire people, I look for that, BTW.
• Oh and one more thing not related to shoes; get your pants and jackets altered. It’s cheap, and you would be amazed at how it makes you look ten pounds thinner. They never get the length right, because they have to go with “average”, which is a 5′5″ woman. So get those puppies altered. I highly recommend it. I mean, if you are going to spend the money on classic clothing, at least make it look as good as possible. You can always let it out or take it in later. Plus, you can make a cheap suit look more expensive by getting it altered, and get that fucking seam fixed.

Okay, I think I covered most everything. I have tons more, but I think I am going to do a weekly column. Sorry so long.