Some of you have expressed concern about my lack of posting.
Frankly, I haven’t had anything to talk about except the shit I am getting doled out at work. Or rather, lack thereof. My life is spent sitting around watching CNN and collecting a paycheck. And though you may think that is great, it’s not. Especially when you are single, live alone and have no family.
So, nothing going on in my life. I am bitter and unhappy, and apathetic. I am tired of life. I am tired of the difficulties in my life.
I have not written about this, because there are certain individuals who read my blog that would lambast me, and I am not in an emotional position to handle the lambasting. So I have refrained from blogging.
Please know that it is not personal toward you. I know that I have not been reading or responding toward yours either. I am just completely apathethic about my life, and really have no desire to try anymore. I have expended all my resources at this point to make my life different professionally, and have succumbed to the invevitable reality that I cannot look back on any job and say, “hey, I really liked that. ”
I have no energy, and I have no motivation. And Avi, beat me up all you like. Usually, I would just ignore it. But now, it would just add to the belief that I am completely broken and god made a complete mistake with me.
I truly am that demotivational poster indicating that my purpose in life is just to serve as a warning to others.
I used to have a professional life, and all I had to do was focus on developing my personal life. Now, however, I have neither. And I am so strapped financially that I am almost dead. Don’t get me wrong; I make all my payments, and my credit actually looks really good. But in order for me to erradicate the debt, I am not in a financial position to do that.
So I am in a giving up pattern right now, because I am just so very tired of not having a single good day.
Sorry guys, that’s the best I have for you right now.
18 responses so far ↓
1 Nat // Sep 11, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Oh sweetie, please hang in there… please.
Nats last blog post..A moment of remembrance.
2 Sue // Sep 11, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Don’t apologize for how you feel, there is nothing ‘wrong’ with it. You are exhausted of life from every angle and if others still want to beat you while you are down then they need to take a good long look in the mirror and ask themselves why they think that’s a good idea.
(((***HUGS***)))
It’s not much, but for a moment I bet it felt good.
Sues last blog post..No Fringe Benefits
3 Shiny // Sep 11, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Happiness or unhappiness — it’s just good to hear from you.
4 Tug // Sep 11, 2008 at 7:02 pm
((HUGS))
Hang in there…take this time to store up your energy so when you’re ready you can kick life in the ASS, take names, & move onward & upward!
Tugs last blog post..Comfort
5 whall // Sep 11, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Your place as the all-time top commenter on my blog is still safe. Even with > 2500 comments so far.
(See how I made my comment about me? I’m good at that).
whalls last blog post..Now I have PROOF
6 laughingattheslut // Sep 11, 2008 at 7:37 pm
To whomever you think is going to beat you up, screw ‘em.
I have spent a good part of my day cleaning through mouseshit. Really. Maybe you had a better day than that.
Oh, and I still don’t have a dog.
Where did they make you go this week?
laughingatthesluts last blog post..A screenplay treatment, writing seminars, and a Deep Space Nine script
7 Hilana // Sep 12, 2008 at 5:43 am
I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling so down and out about life, and that it feels as if there is no joy at the moment. It actually shocked me that somebody would beat you up about posting how you feel?! That is so wrong.
But I do see that the people who did post comments, care about you and are concerned about your wellbeing.
Just hang in there.
~Hilana xx
Hilanas last blog post..Me, My soap box and I
8 Mel-O-Drama // Sep 12, 2008 at 6:54 am
Big hugs. I hope you come out of this downward spiral soon, hon. Hang in there.
xoxo
-Mel
Mel-O-Dramas last blog post..I tried to resist.
9 Robin // Sep 12, 2008 at 8:12 am
I really do believe things always get better eventually, just find little things to make you happy for now, whatever you have to do. I have to do that sometimes, when it’s just so hard.
((Hugs))
Robins last blog post..nn404 Not FoundnnNot FoundnThe requested URL /commentluvinc/remoteCL5.php was not found on this server.nnApache/2.0.52 (CentOS) Server at http://www.fiddyp.com Port 80nn
10 dmarks // Sep 12, 2008 at 9:16 am
Damn anyone who would come to your blog to dump on you. I just don’t get that.
Mouseshit week for me was last week.
11 Penelope // Sep 12, 2008 at 11:29 am
I have absolutely no words of wisdom at all, I know it wouldn’t make any difference anyway. I do know that this WILL pass though. You’re a lot tougher than you give yourself credit for.
Big hugs from over The Pond from your favourite Brit ;o) xx
Penelopes last blog post..Insecure.
12 Evil Genius // Sep 12, 2008 at 6:31 pm
I hear ya girlfriend. Right now my life sucks crap on a salted wafer. Sometimes we just gotta take some time to feel what we feel before we can move ahead. Take all the time you need. We’ll be here.
Feel better soon.
Evil Geniuss last blog post..Of All the Bad Luck
13 Winter // Sep 14, 2008 at 11:43 pm
I echo Shiny’s comment. It’s just good to hear from you, Chelle. I hope everything takes a turn for the better soon. MUAH!
Winters last blog post..I Is Not Down
14 SwanShadow // Sep 17, 2008 at 12:28 pm
As the old saying goes, when you’re hip-deep in alligators, it can be tough to focus on draining the swamp.
But as the comments above demonstrate, there are plenty of people who empathize with your swamp, and hope that you find the will to keep fighting off the gators.
I count at least 14 people who care about you. Lots of folks don’t even have that.
Buck up, buttercup.
SwanShadows last blog post..One question
15 CD Junior // Sep 24, 2008 at 2:59 pm
The same thing happened to me. Too little sleep. I’m sleeping more and working less till I catch up.
CD Juniors last blog post..Is the Electoral College Absurd ??
16 laughingattheslut // Sep 25, 2008 at 7:48 am
This is your somewhat regularly scheduled post something or else message.
Where are you this week?
laughingatthesluts last blog post..Wouldn’t it be nice to be single?
17 dmarks // Sep 28, 2008 at 6:54 am
Hope you are getting some good days, too.
dmarkss last blog post..Saturday Scavenger Hunt: No
18 fathimath // Nov 29, 2008 at 7:26 am
hi there,
just want to let you know, your not the only person in the state you are, am one of them too, i am not going to post in here but contect me through mail, address is looking.fathimath@gmail.com.
Come on man. You know you want to say something!