Thank you to all of those who expressed concern for me, either by post, or via email.
I apologize for not responding to your comments and I will make this short, since I responded on this entry with my full story.
My panic attack was not precipitated by what occurred on Kyra’s show. Please understand that I deal with those types of communication issues at work on an almost daily basis. I probably pissed off TB to no end, trying to be the best mediator that I could. 
Lawyer… Geez. (joking, joking).
The cause of the panic attack had to do with someone who was listening on the phone, during the last hour and a half, once most people had dropped off. I thought that this person had dropped off the phone during the first or second cut off on the dashboard/phone (there was no dashboard to indicate who was still on the phone), since Kyra, TB and me were cut off four times on the air. There were some comments made during and at the end of that conversation (where almost no one but Shiny was still around) that are a great sense of shame for me. Had I known that there was one particular individual listening in, I would have never made that statement. For that person that may be reading this, please understand that the reason I am not ready to talk to you has nothing to do with you. It has to do with the intense feeling of shame that I feel, and the inability to face you regarding this issue during this time. I won’t say anymore about that.
It took me 2 hours to control my attack with a tremendous amount of Xanax. I feel a lot of shame about the whole thing, because I am am afraid to appear weak and because of the statement made. I have only had two panic attacks previously in my life over the last 20 years, and I was horrifically embarrased, since it started at the end of the show, and some people were aware that it was starting.
Thank you again to all those who commented and wrote me via email, and I apologize for not being online yesterday to return your emails and respond to your comments. It took me the entire day to recover from the massive panic attack, and I was not online either for emails or responses, and I was not available by phone.
Thank you.
8 responses so far ↓
1 Mr. Fabulous // Mar 11, 2008 at 7:22 am
If you worry me like that again I am going to come out there and…wait…I can’t. I have outstanding warrants in Texas.
Hey, we just care about you, honey. I know you didn’t feel like responding to it, but did you get my text? I want to make sure I have the right phone number for you.
Mr. Fabulous’s last blog post..Kyra loves me, she really loves me!
2 Hilly // Mar 11, 2008 at 10:11 am
I am glad you are better now and sorry that you have that shame factor going on. I know it all too well as sometimes my foot lives in my mouth. If you need to talk, I am an email away and am very discreet.
Why did I just sound like an adult date site?
Hilly’s last blog post..Snackie’s Confession Booth: March Madness!
3 Epiphany // Mar 11, 2008 at 10:34 am
*hugs*
Epiphany’s last blog post..Shiny Shiny Shiny
4 Kyra Sutra // Mar 11, 2008 at 11:03 am
Ah, Miss Chelle… don’t beat yourself up so badly, babe. You said nothing offensive. That being said, I still understand and am not in any way minimizing your upset… I just want to make it clear to everyone that while you may have said something embarrassing, it was not mean or intended to hurt anyone.
I think I can speak for all four of us when I say that had we known there were other people on the line still, we might not have had the conversation that we did.
And, besides… you were pretty drunk…LOL.
Love ya, babe… I’m here if you want to talk.
Kyra Sutra’s last blog post..ear sex
5 Robin // Mar 11, 2008 at 12:00 pm
I’ve had them before, if you ever need to talk about I am here. I know how debilitating they are. If it makes you feel any better I had a mini-nervous breakdown on Sunday.
Robin’s last blog post..What Do Women Want?
6 Turnbaby // Mar 11, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I’m not pissed at you sugar. I was simply trying to make it so that we all could be heard.
I ended up losing my connection there toward the end.
I’m sorry that you had a bad time and I hope that you are feeling better.
And some good came of the whole thing—Alan Levy is coming on my show Sunday night to discuss the issue.
Turnbaby’s last blog post..A Simple Thank You
7 Winter // Mar 11, 2008 at 12:48 pm
There’s nothing to be embarrassed about with regard to panic attacks. It’s nothing you did on purpose and most people fully understand and are sympathetic if not empathetic. Feeling embarrassed that you had a panic attack would be like me being embarrassed that I had an asthma attack. I hope you’re feeling better now, and I wouldn’t dwell on what happened either. Today is a new day, and looking forward, there are always pluses you can find that will take you away from the dark places.
Winter’s last blog post..Marcus Monday Mutterings
8 Absurdist // Mar 12, 2008 at 5:24 am
Thank you all for being so supportive. I can’t believe that what I said on Sunday night affected me until last night. But I was finally able to get over it. And a lot of it came from your support.
I am very lucky to have friends like you all, even though we have never met in person.
Shiny made a comment to me in an email that he was so impressed that our particular blog-o-sphere is full of such caring individuals, and he is right.
You are all my beloved friends.
Come on man. You know you want to say something!