I got tagged by Gwen to do crazy 8’s. She likes me! She really likes me! So, without further ado, here are my crazy 8’s:

8 things I am passionate about:

1. Sex with animals; particularly dolphins
2. Dog rights; the dog’s right to sleep with women/men.
3. Playing porn music loudly when the pizza guy comes to my house.
4. The right to torture and kill all people that have pissed me off over the years.
5. Facilitating the public downfall of every executive group that I have ever worked for.
6. Making all those with whom I attended high school so jealous that they want to worship me.
7. Geek gadgets and apparel.
8. Oh, I am sooo passionate about our Mexican fence. God, we have GOT to protect ourselves from those who mow our lawns and clean our houses.

8 things I want to do before I die:

1. Providing as many blowjobs as possible.
2. Sex with all existing inanimate objects.
3. Sex with all politicians (I am at 10, and counting)
4. Ejaculating all over someone’s face.
5. Sleeping with ALL my blog friends.
6. Sex with as many men as possible .
7. Sex with as many women as possible.
8. Running a train with 10 men.

8 things I say often:

1. HARDER, HARDER!!!
2. YES! Right there! Don’t stop!
3. You dirty, dirty boy. Fuck me until I can’t walk.
4. Come over here and fuck me like I have never been fucked before.
5. What’s your name? (the day after).
6. Where the FUCK am I? (the walk of shame).
7. You’re 17, right?
8. Lick me right there; yes, up and down, slowly.

8 books I have read recently:

1. Kama Sutra.
2. Literotica online.
3. The guide to using my vibrator.
4. Everything you wanted to know about anal beads but were afraid to ask.
5. The entire Encyclopedia Brittanica, beginning to end.
6. How to become a born-again virgin successfully.
7. Tijuana; Rosie’s story of beastiality and financial independence.
8. Lick, suck, cum and fuck: A professional’s guide to prostitution.

8 songs I could listen to over and over:

1. Madonna; Like a Virgin.
2. Too shy shy, Kajagoogoo
3. Thriller; Michael Jackson
4. Hot for Teacher; Van Halen
5. Figured You Out; Nickelback
6. Suck Me/Fuck Me; Dirty South Style
7. You Light Up My Life; Debbie Boone
8. “Making Love Out of Nothing At All”; Air Supply

8 things that attract me to my best friends:

1. Awesome legs.
2. Awesome ass.
3. Great boobs.
4. HUGE dick.
5. Toe-sucking expertise.
6. Clean ears.
7. Long fingers.
8. Obsessive about keeping lube, vibrators, anal beads, butterflies, and gerbils in the house at all times.

People I think should do crazy 8’s (If I didn’t pick you and you are my friend, it’s because I didn’t want to duplicate):

1. MetalMom
2. Poppy
3. Dutchbitch
4. Laughing at the Slut
5. Kyra
6. Top
7. Jester
8. Hilly

SHIT, NOW I AM HORNY. GOTTA GO MASTURBATE.