I got nuthin’ today. I tried. I really tried. I even researched how to create an interesting blog entry that you guys might have actually wanted to read. Alas, nothing happened in my brain. Sometimes, I just got nuthin’. I just feel like total dogshit emotionally.
My meds are all fucked up. Gotta call the doc and let him know I am going back to my original anti-depressant dosage. That’ll take a fucking week and a half to get back to level. No one tell Tom Cruise. The last thing I need while I am horrifically depressed is a 5′2″ man getting all over my ass about taking medication, just because he has a Napolean complex. At least my anti-mania medication is pseudo-working.
There is nothing worse than trying to treat a mixed episode. It’s the worst of the worst, since one is manic and depressed at the same time. And it is usually an indication of high stress and medication issues. It’s much easier to treat a manic OR a depressive episode. Mix the two together, and what you have is a shit salad.
Fucking Bipolar Disorder. You know, it really puts a cramp in my style.
2 responses so far ↓
1 Poppy // Jan 30, 2008 at 8:50 am
I know that I shouldn’t, but I am in awe of the concept of a mixed episode of manic plus depressive at the very same time. But I’m sorry you’re going through it…
2 Absurdist // Jan 31, 2008 at 10:12 am
Hey, sorry I never got back to you on this.
Thanks for the concern and care. I appreciate it.
There are two things that are extremely important to a bipolar:
1. Sleep.
2. Schedule.
A bipolar MUST get an appropriate amount of sleep, and MUST have an established schedule that they stay on every day. They really shouldn’t drink, but I do anyway. It’s rare, and it’s only when I am mad at Wayne and I am getting back at him by harming myself. I know; therapy. And of course, not true at all.
Mixed episodes suck. You are somewhat to suicidally depressed, but you are awake, can’t sleep and your brain is running like crazy all at the same time. Thank god mine is only minor this time. Stress is the biggest factor in a medication stopping working. It is also the biggest factor in a mixed episode.
Mixed episodes are rare. I am one of the lucky ones that gets both bipolar episodes and mixed episodes. This one came on from stress from my last job, and not staying on schedule. The mania came, which got me off schedule, cuz I couldn’t sleep. The cycle makes it get worse, because you can’t sleep and you can’t stay on schedule.
I am back on schedule, which means I am so much better now.
Again, thanks for the care and concern. Note that you are the ONLY person that expressed any “sorry you are going through this” out of all my friends.
EVEN WAYNE. < **coughs**>
Come on man. You know you want to say something!