Nope. Didn’t forget. Had to post on the caption contest, but didn’t forget this time. I have it on my calendar with a reminder now!
So, without further ado, here is my five minutes of freewriting (free association):
—————-<FREE ON>—————-
I was just writing on pointless directives. Blow job. haha. Why does Robin on CNN take every other fucking day off? I watch it for her. I have so much to do, and so very little time to do it. If I dont’ get a job soon, well, shit. And I should take this opportunity to do what I am supposed to be doing; writing my book. And yet… I am not sure what is blocking me. Ninja writing is due on Sunday. Maybe that will get my juices flowing. Meditation has been great. Had a fantastic breakthrough yesterfday. I finally realized what it meant to “not be myself”. I know that doesn’t make sense, but what it does mean is that I fiinally associate myself with my higher self, which is not the ego, or the identiifyt of michelle. I can’t relaly explain it very well here. Butr it was an amazing feeling and revelation. It has taken me toa new level for meditation and I am very excited about it. I have decided to go back on another eating plan;. I took a good long look at myself in the mirro, and I guess I finally saw what I really look like. I have been avoiding it because of various emotional issues which I am finally working through. I feel awful, and I really hate the way I look. Not in a bad way; I will finally feel better, and I think this is giong to work. When I lost weight before, there was no question in my mind that I would lose the weight. And I did. I was diligent, adn I was able to lsoe it appropariately. So, I am excited and scared about that too. I also want to lose the weight because I am so embarrassed when I ride on an airpolane. I feel like I am really imepdting on the person next to me. I squiwsh myself against the fuselage, and I am so embarrassed. One time, there was this asshole, and he got on a plane, and he told the stwewardesss that if he had to sit next to this guy, he was going to demand to sit next to someone else. Well low and behold he was going to have to sit next to this very large man. So he comes up and demands to sit next to someone else. He disturbs the whole plane. So I am in front, adn I get up and I say, you know what? You can have my fucking seat. I will go sit next to the guy. What an ass. He didn’t even thank me. So I go sit next to the guy, and he is asking me what happened, and I told him that hsi seatmate was throwing a shit fit. You knwo what? turns out there was a whole row available, and the stweardess moved me there, and I got a whole row to myself. She thanked me profusely, becuase she didn’t know what she was going to do,b ecause the plane was swupposed to be full.. Waht a fucking asshole. Yews, he probably should ahve bought two seats. But frankly, the whole fucking world is getting bigger, adn with us travelers having a hard enough time eating right, we are getting bigger. It’s time to make the seeats a little fucking bigger.
—————-<FREE OFF>—————-
10 responses so far ↓
1 Preposterous Ponderings // Feb 8, 2008 at 9:58 am
Everything needs to be bigger!
My fat ass wants to be comfortable no matter what I am doing or where I am going.
2 Finn // Feb 8, 2008 at 10:00 am
All that in five minutes. You more complex than I am!
Get on that book, will ya’
Finn’s last blog post..Friday Freewrite Three
3 ~ Stacy ~ // Feb 8, 2008 at 10:53 am
Heh. You wrote more than I did. That makes me happy.
The guy on the plane: I think airlines just need to make an ‘asshole’ section, and then soundproof it.
I just bought the book titled “You: On a Diet” because the authors said something about stress causing people to gain and keep extra belly fat. And for the first time in my life, I’m not comfortable with my weight. And, I *know* that the last two years have been way too freakin’ stressful. I like being able to blame stress for my belly fat. Bad stress! Bad, bad stress!
Errr… So, anyway, congrats on the meditation breakthrough. I think I kinda, sorta understand what you’re saying. My dad often sends me ‘no-self’ emails, if ya know what I’m saying. Of course, when he stubs his toe or bumps his head or has to shovel snow, he tends to remember himself right quick.
Lots o’ luck with the weight loss and book writing!
~ Stacy ~’s last blog post..?Cuz MetalMom said it would be fun?
4 Robin // Feb 8, 2008 at 11:27 am
I need to meditate.
Too bad you don’t live closer we could go for walks.
Robin’s last blog post..Watch Out For Pregnant Zombies
5 Trishk // Feb 8, 2008 at 11:47 am
My brain jumps all around the place, especially when I am trying not to.
Now go work on your book!
Trishk’s last blog post..Freewrite Friday
6 Absurdist // Feb 8, 2008 at 11:59 am
Sorry I haven’t been able to read everyone’s freewriting yet.
Guess what I am going to do today. I realized something really obvious. Duh.
If I want to be a writer, be a writer. Don’t sit here and think, okay what else can I do with my life to be a writer? I mean, what else can I do in my life to be a writer but to be a writer? Okay, yeah, duh, obviously. I have been avoiding it out of fear, but guess what? My life has provided me the opportunity to write. I am financially taken care of for a little while, so I have the opportunity to be exactly what I want to be. I mean, why am I sitting here going okay, I need a job so I can be a writer? Um, I am a writer. I need to start acting like one. If I am going to be a writer, then I am a writer. I’m not GONNA be a writer, I am a writer now. Yeah, I know. Duh. That was from meditation and journaling today. And you know what else I realized? I write all day long. I journal; I read; I research. I probably write five or six pages a day in various locations; not blogs, I mean. Otherwise. So I am a writer. I am just not writing on the topics that I *THINK* I should be writing on. I have been avoiding my topic because I am not sure that I want to write about what I decided to write about. So I am just going to write and see what comes of it. Not on any specific topic; just whatever.
Anyway, to yall’s comments:
PP: No shit, everything needs to be bigger. We are taller, we are wider, we are deeper than we were 30 fucking years ago when they created these planes that we still ride on.
Fin: I just type really fast.
Stacey: I think you are dead on about the stress. Definitely. And as for the meditation, yeah, it’s really hard for me to explain it. Maybe one of these days I will post one of my journals that is free association during meditation. Maybe that will help explain.
Robin: I know. I wish we could too. That would be cool to hang out with someone who understand me.
Trishk: Yeah, I totally understand. I am trying to remind myself that I do not have to answer every email immediately, answer every phone call right then. Not everything is emergent! And I am writing today!!
Thanks for all yall’s comments!
7 Epiphany // Feb 8, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Ooh…Frewriting Friday. Sounds interesting
I want one!
A big one.
Heh…
Epiphany’s last blog post..I won I won I won!
8 Wayne // Feb 8, 2008 at 4:41 pm
I don’t think I could be uninterrupted for five minutes to do freewriting….
If I can speak astrologically here, ‘chelle - you NEED to write. Your solar return indicates that your major decision this year has to do with writing, and you will do one or both of the following: write about a work-related topic that you are very knowledgable about (deeply knowledgable) AND/OR write about Scorpionic topics, such as sex, dealth, transformation and taboo subjects (occult, secrets, or anything “hidden”). If you were to write about the Scorpionic tendencies as a job, then it satisfies both of those energies manifesting themselves for this year. The BlogTalkRadio thing you were thinking about is pretty relevant, and it’s ok for this communication to be a talkradio medium, and your subject matter was DEFINITELY taboo.
(Warning: astro-speak ahead: 2007/2008 solar return ascendant is gemini; ruler of gemini is Mercury; Mercury is in 6th house in the intercepted sign of Scorpio, a strong indicator that “writing as a job” is the theme or the major decision needing to be made this year. Gemini and Sagittarius are the duplicated/double-duty signs, indicating that travel and communications are important, specifically in the area of reading, studying and discussing. )
Wayne’s last blog post..Sorry, can’t talk, I’m in a Rush?
9 Absurdist // Feb 8, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Wayne, your wife didn’t tell me about
“AND/OR write about Scorpionic topics, such as sex, dealth, transformation and taboo subjects (occult, secrets, or anything “hidden”).”
That wasn’t in the writeup. So at least that makes sense about me not wanting write my business books.
I just have to find a job.
10 Absurdist // Feb 8, 2008 at 4:46 pm
I just don’t know how to start. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe you can call me later so I can bounce it off of you. I don’t want to talk about it here. I have too many emotions right now, including fear, guilt, worthlessness, etc. about writing that I just can’t talk about it here.
Come on man. You know you want to say something!