Sorry, no links on this one. Freewrite Friday early.
Fuckitol. New medication. Highly recommended. Xanax is the world’s best friend. When you couple Xanax with alcohol, it makes for an even better mind number. Add in a little Risperdal, and you have a nice cocktail. If you are lucky, you might also have some migraine meds laying around. But then again, if you haven’t been to your neurologist lately, you are fucked in that department.
So then you are stuck finding some seedy high school kid on the corner, trying to trade your Xanax for Codeine. It works though, provided you can find the right pusher. Also, if you have your old ADD medication, you can get about a buck a pop for each pill. Good business.
I am thinking about going into prostitution. There is actually a real market for guys who like bigger women. I guess beauty is relative. It’s good money, and I certainly have the qualification.
I am good at just a few things; Business Intelligence, strategic objectives and alignment, project management and sex.
Since the market is bad for all except sex, I am thinking that a BBW escort site may just be the ticket. I used to bill out at 100/hr. I can match that. And frankly, my ethics have no issue with that. It’s just fucking. It’s not like it means anything. And I have been doing that for 20 years anyway; sex without meaning. Man, I should have been charging the whole time. Can you imagine where I would be financially if I had been charging from the beginning? And soon, I would be able to hire a personal trainer that would put me in shape to fuck governor’s, and make me available for high-priced scandals. See, I wouldn’t go public; I would blackmail for millions. Once that is said and done, I could do whatever I wanted in this whole world. I don’t give a shit about the limelight; all I want is money. And I don’t want someone else’s money. I am not a barbie. I work hard for my money. So if I can justify it, and make a business out of it. that’s my next professional goal. And there is big business in that.
For those of you who have known me, I have always espoused to awesome ways to make money fast; 1. phone sex ring, 2. parking garages.
Since I don’t have the capital for parking garages, but my 35 year old body is still attractive to many black males, I think I can make a go of the prositution (excuse me, escort) service. And I doubt the ramp up time and gaining clients would be that difficult.
Free off.
9 responses so far ↓
1 Shiny // Mar 19, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Holy shit — that was five minutes?!?
The problem with the notion of blackmailing politicians rather than overcharging them is the impending bullet to the back of the head by hired goons. Just be careful and wear mirrored shades.
And make sure the parking garage you’re in has visible security cameras.
Shiny’s last blog post..Brotherly SPAM?
2 Tug // Mar 19, 2008 at 5:29 pm
Little discombobulated?
When you get the call girl ring up & running, let me know what the market is for grandmas, k?
Tug’s last blog post..Discombobulated
3 tori // Mar 19, 2008 at 7:07 pm
if it were only that easy… for our brain…
tori’s last blog post..4:48am
4 Winter // Mar 19, 2008 at 10:36 pm
I dunno what it is about black men … and Mexican men who have rather limited English. If your butt is big, they are all over you. Even at 47. Sheesh. And they always overlook Rott as if I brought a toy man with me to the party. Being a 5′10″, 167 lb white man with long hair means black men and Mexican men ignore you and hit on your woman. I always have to tell these dips that… hell-o! Rott is an excellent shot. And he and his Glock have a great relationship. Damn morons. I bet there is a great market in the escort biz for these guys. Every year at the Christmas party, there’s at least a couple so I imagine there’s a lot more out there…
Winter’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen the Eighth
5 Matt-Man // Mar 20, 2008 at 4:15 am
There are guys out there who don’t like bigger women? WTF? Cheers Abs!!
Matt-Man’s last blog post..Half Nekkid Thursday: Holy Thursday Matt-Man!!
6 Absurdist // Mar 20, 2008 at 4:32 am
Shit Shiny, that’s called corporate america too, except the bullets are really knives!
Tug: yeah, am a little discomblahblah. Thanks for the tip on that yesterday. I will let you know, but hell, you don’t have to sound like a g-ma to be part of a phone sex ring. Just be able to get a guy off with your voice.
tori: Yeah, nothin’s easy for my brain. that’s why I pretend to rely on sex all the time.
Winter: I am sooo with you on this. Except I didn’t know about them ignorning the big white guy that can eat them for breakfast. That makes no sense to me. What do the mexicans do when they figure out you are with Rott and they have just hit on you?
Matt-Man: You are the bullshitting god to all women of the world. Mwah!
7 Winter // Mar 20, 2008 at 7:48 am
Rott always looks like the little skinny white guy cause the black guys and the Mexicans are always bigger than him! And the weird thing is, it hardly puts a dent in their schtick. There’s a hitch in their stride and then they are still trying to hit on me. Usually, I go stand next the President (they never hit on her and she’s very attractive), or my Veep (a monolith of an Irishman), or the Mortuary Manager (he’s a little Mexican guy but NO ONE dinks around with Omar). That usually makes them back off.
Winter’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen the Eighth
8 Tug // Mar 20, 2008 at 8:39 am
Yeah, um…if it’s a choice between phone sex with MY voice or real call-girl sex with my grandma self, I’d probably go with the real thing. Sad, but true.
Tug’s last blog post..Discombobulated
9 Robin // Mar 21, 2008 at 5:27 pm
I have some Adderall, let’s party!
Robin’s last blog post..Seriously??
Come on man. You know you want to say something!