I love that word. It’s definitely not used enough.
There are many types of cunts in this world. Small cunts, big cunts, squishy cunts, skinny cunts, balding cunts, hairy cunts…and on and on…
Cunts come in many colors too. There are black cunts, brown cunts, white cunts, pink cunts and yellow cunts.
But there is one cunt I would like to talk about today. This cunt rises above all other cunts because of one basic characteristic:
It’s lips.
This particular cunt’s lips don’t close. They lay their open, dribbling mucous-y, infected bile. When viewing this cunt from afar, it appears to be dangerous and harmful. Certainly not a cunt you want to go near. But, upon closer inspection, you can see that the disgusting drainage oozing from its lips is but a symptom of a larger problem.
This cunt has been beaten up. This cunt has been traumatized. It is infested with disease. Something awful happened to this cunt. It’s hard to tell when. It’s hard to tell what. But something awful happenend to it.
How can one know this for sure? Untainted cunts are pleasing, smell nice, are pink and pretty. Previously harmed cunts contaminate the area around them with dis-ease, making life unpleasant at best.
Cunts who have been harmed and not properly cared for by their owners present a major problem. They spread sickness and leave gaping wounds on whomever and whatever they touch.
Some cunt owners take responsibility and get the help that their cunt so desperately deserves, turning the once debilitated and harmful cunt into a pink, pretty and happy cunt. Unfortunately, though, there are far more harmful cunts out there than rehabilitated cunts.
Few of us cunts ever make it without spreading some infection, making it to adulthood pretty, pink and happy. Most of us have just a little bit of tainted cunt. But the ones that need the most help, the most damaged of cunts, rarely get the help that they need. They thrive off spreading filth.
And unfortunately, it is those damaged cunts that perpetuate the need for inoculation against vile contagions.
It’s up to you to be responsible for your cunt. You can use your cunt for good or evil. I hope you choose good, with maybe a hint of evil. But the minute you start oozing, don’t be surprised if you are thrown out with the trash.
18 responses so far ↓
1 Robin // Jul 14, 2008 at 8:21 pm
You have a way with words darling, you truly do. I enjoy that emensely. I just have to do one thing really quickly here…
cunt.
2 Evil Genius // Jul 14, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Thank you, dear Absurdist, for reminding me that a cunt is a precious gift and that it should be treated as such. I’m ashamed to admit that I haven’t always taken the best care of my cunt, but heretofore I make a promise to both you and my cunt that it will not only be cared for, but it shall become a vessel of honor, and it shall be pink and happy and shall flourish for the rest of time.
lol
Evil Geniuss last blog post..M-Utterings
3 Tug // Jul 14, 2008 at 9:02 pm
I don’t have one clue who/what you’re talking about, but I’ve got to say I don’t love that word. It just gets me wrong, no matter how it’s used or by whom.
Tugs last blog post..Mt. Rushmore
4 Kyra Sutra // Jul 15, 2008 at 12:02 am
OMG. This is why you’re hot.
5 bluepaintred // Jul 15, 2008 at 12:17 am
uhm. ok then.
Fine
bluepaintreds last blog post..The end part? That’s just to distract you from the REAL post.
6 Absurdist // Jul 15, 2008 at 5:17 am
Robin: I aim to please.
Evil: Girl, I’ll believe that when I see it!
Tug: Worry not. It’s only one post. I promise I won’t try to gross you out as much next time.
Kyra: No. YOU’RE hot.
BPR: Don’t worry. The one person that needs to understand the metaphor will.
7 Absurdist // Jul 15, 2008 at 5:22 am
Hey Kyra, check your yahoo email. And no, people this is not about Kyra. It’s just that her regular email address is bouncing for other reasons.
8 metalmom // Jul 15, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Love this post!!
9 Absurdist // Jul 15, 2008 at 1:46 pm
MM: Yea! (claps hands)
10 Cissa Fireheart // Jul 15, 2008 at 2:48 pm
I haven’t laughed this hard in days! THANK YOU!!
11 Winter // Jul 15, 2008 at 4:07 pm
We can always count on you to tell it like it is, C word and all. Amazingly amusing!
Winters last blog post..More, More, More!
12 whall // Jul 15, 2008 at 11:51 pm
yay! you fixed your sidebar!
I feel a ton of jokes welling up inside but I think I’ll not let them fly on this post.
13 Lucy // Jul 16, 2008 at 1:34 pm
OMG! I am sitting at work giggling like an idiot reading this post. I have never in my life seen so many instances of the word cunt in one place. I love it!!!
Fantastic post.
Lucys last blog post..Mean People Blow
14 Miss Britt // Jul 16, 2008 at 5:03 pm
I actually grew up hating that word until a few months back when that was the only one that would do.
This post reminds me why regular visits to the GYN are so important!
LOL
Miss Britts last blog post..Wanted: Temporary Babysitter For My Uterus.
15 Absurdist // Jul 16, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Cissa: That’s great! I am glad you enjoyed it!
Winter: Thank you. And I didn’t even have to take drugs to write it.
Whall: I had to stop using two plugins. that’s what was causing the problem. So I still don’t have what I want. I just stopped using the plugins.
Lucy: Cool!!!
Miss Britt: I really don’t like it either. But yes, keeping your cunt healthy is very important.
And remember people; not everyone has a healthy cunt. Some of them are just a wee bit mental. So stand back when you encounter one of those.
16 themuttprincess // Jul 17, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Cunt is my favorite word.
You made it even more beautiful!!!!
themuttprincesss last blog post..This is about my Trigeminal Neuralgia Nightmare in HELL
17 Sue // Jul 27, 2008 at 9:13 am
Interesting way of getting the point across. hehe
Sues last blog post..I Really Really Really Wanna Zigazig Ahhh
18 Hilana // Aug 8, 2008 at 6:31 am
I blew my coffee through my nose when I read this, I laughed so hard (or is it loud?) Well, at least the sinuses are all open and cleared up and I got a caffeine shot up the nose that lasted for 2 hours.
Love the word Cunt. Powerful stuff.
Hilanas last blog post..Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage
Come on man. You know you want to say something!