I know are as excited as I am that our own favorite sex-toy, Kyra, has graciously allowed me to interview her with twenty short questions.

She has also provided us with something very special; two of her very own drawings. At the end of the interview, you will find two of her drawings, which I personally think are awesome!

 

1. Besides barely legal sex, what is your next favorite hobby?

I am the Queen of Hobbies. I do everything. I sew clothing and paint and sculpt. I’m a pretty accomplished photographer and graphic artist and I like to read, write, do carpentry, sing, make music… loads of shit. I always have something to do…LOL. Anything where I get to build or create something is on my list of shit I enjoy.

2. You are divinely inspiring. If you could leave this world having taught everyone just one thing about sex, what would it be?

That sexual enjoyment is not dictated by specific physical standards that human beings set when looking for a partner. Everyone can enjoy sex with anyone else regardless of penis size, someone being overweight… etc. How we feel about ourselves and the ridiculous standards we hold over everyone else is inhibiting, at best, when it comes to sex. Letting go of that is an incredibly liberating action that leads to intense pleasure.

(Hear Hear! Chelle is all about fat sex. Guys, listen up. Fat girls try harder.)

3. How many positions are possible in one particular sex session (meaning, the first orgasm, not the whole sixteen times you have sex in one night)?

This depends on a whole myriad of circumstances: The mood, the people involved, etc. If two people are in for a raunchy night of play and personally enjoy flip flopping all over the place at lightning speed, then great. For me, personally, I’d say three different positions.

4. Speaking of sexual positions, what is your favorite? If we don’t know what it is, please describe.

My favorite sexual position is Man sitting indian style with Woman facing him and sort of sitting in his lap with her legs wrapped around him. This is an excellent position because it provides deep penetration for the woman, chest to chest contact, clitoral stimulation, easy lip access, an opportunity for both parties to explore each other’s bodies and for insecure individuals, it keeps eyes focused on more flattering parts of the body… like eyes, lips… neck.

(Chelle is trying this one the next time she has sex, which will probably be in 2025.)

5. This one’s for me, because we were cut off on the show when I was asking this question. I heard it is possible for a vagina to stretch in length to accommodate a large man, like up to 14″. Is this true?

Not exactly. The vagina is a set of muscles that does stretch to accommodate certain things ie. childbirth… but it doesn’t stretch so much as in depth. During labor, it becomes shorter but I have never heard of it becoming longer. A well endowed man can use it’s elasticity to cram his entire package up in there but it will cause pain and can cause serious damage to the cervix, so he should be mindful.

(Chelle is in major trouble.)

6. Dean is in the army. How many times have you moved? Where have you lived?

For basic training, I lived in Ohio for a few months and then when he went away for school for about a year I lived in Ft. Lauderdale. Then, I moved back home for a few months while he came home for a recruiting duty. Our first big family move was to Kitzingen, Germany for three years and then another three years were spent at Ft. Bliss in El Paso, Texas. After Ft. Bliss, we moved up here to Ft. Lewis in Washington State. These are the places I’ve lived although Dean spent a lot of time on various deployments to Poland, Denmark, Kuwait and Iraq.

(Chelle is very sorry that you and the fam had to live in El Paso, aka Hell).

7. If bestiality were legal, what would the first animal you would have sex with be?

I doubt that I’d actually have sex with an animal because for me passion plays a huge part of sexual enjoyment. I doubt I’d enjoy the business as usual nature of the beast. That being said, I suppose I’d probably allow a dog to lick peanut butter off my clitorus. Why not?

(Chelle’s brother used to joke about letting the dog lick peanut butter off his penis. Chelle doesn’t think he was kidding.)

8. When going to the grocery store, what would be the minimum amount of clothing you would find acceptable?

Hmmm. I’m a comfort person so I sort of trounce about in whatever I feel cozy in. Usually, this means ginormous jammie pants and t shirts. I would totally talk shit, though, if I saw a woman in the grocery store in a mini skirt with no panties and one of those shirts that’s pretty much a bra.

(Chelle and Kyra need to go where Britney Spears shops.)

9. How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Do lesbians know how to screw?

(Chelle never thought of this. Good point.)

10. If you were going to have sex with three men at the same time in our blogosphere, which three would you choose? Not that you wouldn’t choose them all; just the top three.

Obviously, the first would Mr. Fabulous. I find him to be ridiculously sexy and I imagine that sex with him would be a blast. Guy number 2 would be this guy Neo who reads my blog. He looks just like Joaquin Phoenix… yum! Number three slot would have to go to my man Brian in Minneapolis… he’s fuck-tastic! I do want to note, though, that both Fab and Neo have wives and I wish not to upset them with my answers. I am in no way stating that I would actually try to fuck their husbands… just that I’d like to.

(Chelle thinks that their wives would be flattered, and needs the links to the last two men’s blogs.)

11. I hear you are an incredible artist. You do graphic arts, etc. What is your favorite thing to draw?

People. You never draw the same thing twice. There are so many layers to human anatomy and can really perfect things with shading and lines. It’s a wonderful thing to explore. It’s also difficult but then you’ll just get it, ya know? Suddenly, it will be as good as it’s gonna get and you just look down at it and it’s done. I have obsessive/compulsive disorder so things that require perfection and focus and an attention to detail really appeal to me.

(Please see below for two of Kyra’s drawings)

12. Would you, or have you, tape having sex with Dean and put it on the internet so we can watch?

I have taken risque pictures of Dean and I once had him photograph an ingrown hair I had on my inner labia. Other than that, we have never taped sex. The closest I came to even actually involving film of the two of us was once during sex, I had recorded Dean on the camera and then I watched it while he was fucking me from behind. It was way hotter than I thought it would be. We have just recently started fucking around on the webcam. Surprised?

(Chelle did something embarrassing very recently and will never speak of it again as long as she lives.)

13.What is your raunchiest fantasy?

I have basic fantasies but the one I think is weirdest is this fantasy I have where I’m at a club and Dean is there with me and we see some hot chick dancing. We approach her and spend some time with her and then bring her home where I sit in a cozy chair and sip cosmos while ordering her to perform specific acts on him. The fantasy is a long one as I tend to have her blow him and try out various positions until I jump in to the fray. It’s my favorite one to masturbate to but I have to pace myself or I might get off to quickly.

(Chelle wonders why cosmos, specifically?)

14. Where do you draw the line on online flirting? I mean, what is the point where it becomes too far?

I draw the line at mutual masturbation on the webcam. Teasing and flirting is one thing, but if I know it would seriously hurt Dean then that’s not cool. Everything else is fair game.

(Hm. Mutual masturbation. so it’s okay if you make me maturbate, while you don’t masturbate? Cuz I am up for that.)

15. What is your worst habit?

As an OCD I suffer from a common impulse that a lot of other OCD’S suffer from called Trichotillomania. This is a compulsion to pull out your hair and I have battled it for years. As a child, I pulled out fistfulls but as an adult, it is a compulsion to pull out one strand at a time and I’ll fucking bald half my head before I have to seek help and try to resist it. Currently, I’m doing good and haven’t pulled out any hair since October but it is the hardest thing I have done. I want to do it so badly that I’ll vomit trying to force myself not to. It’s pretty awful.

(Chelle wants Kyra to know that she picks the skin off her lips. Not like anyone else she has ever met, and no doctor has seen it before. She literally picks with her fingers, all the skin off her lips all over so there is no skin left. Since she was five.)

16. If you could do anything in this world, not get caught, and suffer no consequences, what would you do?

Steal millions from some multi-million dollar corporation that pays shit to it’s employees and has ruined family run businesses… ahem, WALMART… and then do something fantastic with it.

17. What is your favorite song, and why?

My favorite song is called No Surprises by Radiohead. I don’t know why it is my favorite song but it paralizes me when I hear it. It is sad and beautiful and amazing.

Chelle doesn’t know where to steal if from to put it here. Sorry.)

18. What is the weirdest thing you have stuck up your hoohoo?

The handle of a knife. And it was fantastic.

(Chelle hopes that this knife had a VERY long handle.)

19. What is the most bizarre place you have had sex?

I have had a LOT of sex in weird places. The most biazarre would be gas station bathrooms and church bathrooms. I sort of have sex all over the place so this is hard to say.

(Chelle thinks that all women’s bathrooms smell badly. She would have to wear a clothespin on her nose. Would that be BDSM?)

20. What is the most obscene thing you have done in public, where others could see you?

Other than straight up fucking, I would have to say pumping gas in my underwear. I had a good friend back at Ft. Bliss who was taking our impending move very hard and to cheer her up and make her laugh one day I pulled up to the gas station and removed my clothing and pumped gas in just my underwear in front of a shitload of people.

(Chelle thinks this is awesome. Chelle wears what her friend calls granny panties, but they aren’t. They are barely there.)

Kyra drew these. I mean, SHE DREW THESE!!!! How awesome is she?