I am honored to present BluePaintRed as today’s 20Q Wednesday guest. She is awesome. She is talented. She is BODACIOUS!

So, hold onto your seats. Here we go!

1. You have like, 75 blogs. WTF? Do you think you are special or something?

Well, DUH, Of course I am special. Heh. Paint! and Where Was I? Started out purely as paid blogs, and 98% of the posts on them have a paid link in each post, but the cool thing about those two blogs is that I can write whatever I want, whenever I want without having to worry about being funny or boring, I can be 100% me on them. Then I have My Photo Blog, which, since becoming addicted to facebook I have updated approximately one time. I suck like that.

2. What is with your fetish with gnomes? Do they not have normal gnomes in Canada that don’t look totally gay?

WTF? Don’t Dis my gnomes! Actually, Our gnome collection started as a way for me to waste a bit of paid blogging money. The first Gnome was kidnapped by Stuperman and named Gnomer - ‘cus let me tell you, thats one imaginative kid, but the second Gnome is all mine. He spends most of his day tucked away in the safety of my vagina.

3. Do you ever worry that Blue Man will be warped because he never wears normal clothes? Only character clothing?

First of all, It’s Blue BOY, and second of all, he spends most of his day lounging around in his underwear. If anything will warp him it will be the time he took it upon himself to shower - VIA a warm summer rain, on the driveway. Ahh. Good times!

4. What is with your fetish with Christmas? Don’t you guys have ANY other holidays?

Hmm. Actually, Canadians celebrate pretty much the same major holidays as you guys, but for my family in particular, Christmas is our big holiday. We pretty much ignore other holidays - except for the part where I get candy.Take this past Easter for example, because it was just the five of us at home, we celebrated with Ham sandwiches and chocolate for our Easter dinner. We make a big deal about the kids birthdays as well, not in terms of huge parties, Blue Boy is having 13 people (including us five) to his party on Wednesday, and all of them are family. We will be BBQ’ing eating cake and opening presents.
We make a huge deal in terms of the excitement leading up to the big day. As soon as Hub’s Birthday was over in January, The whole family started the countdown to Blue Boys birthday, We spend a serious bit of time planning the cake and its decorations, and the presents are stored, wrapped, in plain sight a month or two before the big day so that the prospective birthday person can shake and caress them as they so wish. Wednesday night, after the party, but before bedtime, we will start the count down to Stupermans Big Day in June. Hmm. This was long and boring to anyone but me, I shall spice it up by saying “Life is so much better when your penis cries instead of your eyes”.

5. What is the weirdest pay per post you have written?

Holy shit. Uhm. I dunno? All of them? PPP was a crock becuase it is all a lie. I had to write about things even though I had no idea what the fuck they were. Still, the money was good, until Google started stripping page rank. Now all I do in terms of paid blogging is Pay U 2 Blog. They rock. They give me a key word, for example ” Pens” and all I have to do is work that word somehow into a blog post and boom, I’m paid. I don’t have to actually write about the product at all. I love PU2B! (you should ALL join!)

6. When your husband went to the penis garden, how did he do?

You know how in romance novels, during the sex scenes the author writes about how the hero slams his cock up to the hilt in the heroine’s cooch? I’ve never felt that. Either my vagina is too small (depth wise) or he is too big. It is something that has always bugged me, knowing that I cannot “take it all” BUT, seeing as his is the only penis I have ever enjoyed, I do not know if this is a problem most women face, I mean, a lot of the shit in romance novels is impossible, so maybe completely inserting a penis into a vagina is a myth too.

7. You have a thing about peeing. Standing first in line, trying not to pee on yourself. Are you concerned that you might pee during a pap smear or during sex?

I’ve never worried about it during a pap smear becuase I always go to the washroom before i leave my name with the nurse. What I Do worry about during my Pap smear is weather I have managed to get all the little bits of tissue paper thin toilet paper out of my folds. I fucking HATE the toilet paper in those places. Apparently it is done becuase the 1/2 ply paper is the cheapest, but in the long run it costs them four times the amount becuase you have to use enough toilet paper to wrap a leer jet or risk having pee all over your hands.
As for during sex, yes I do worry about it, especially when I am woken up in the middle of the night, from an awesome dream about me, Matt , Brad and a small baby rhino, for sex. I drink coffee from morning ’til night, and as coffee is a diuretic, this means I have to pee a lot. As much as a mood killer as it is, I always have to excuse myself to go pee before we continue.

8. You really seem to like your doctor, and visit him quite frequently. Is he just really hot and touches you in all the right places?

He is pretty cute, but he’s also a very nice guy., No matter how stupid my questions is or how small my problem is, he deals with it nicely. I’m a hypochondriac, so the slightest cough has me convinced I have lung cancer - BRB, Smoke Break - where was I? Oh yea, and he has a fine ass.

9. Since you really are into cartoon clothing, which cartoon character would you be and why? (And you can’t say Stewie because you are an adult.)

I think you have me confused with some other BPR. I’m not into into cartoon clothing becuase I am not into cartoons, or most other television either. I will watch Family Guy when it is on, but I don’t sit there and stare, I watch it while I surf the net or read a book. The only show I LOVE is Smallville, but we are a season behind everyone else so don’t tell me ANYTHING!
I am unqualified to be a pick a cartoon character for myself. Sorry to disappoint. Factoid of the day. The wrinkle of skin on your elbow when your arm is extended is called the “wenis”.

10. I get why you call Blue Man “Blue Man”. But why do you call “Rainbow Man” “Rainbow Man”? Are you trying to take the whole color spectrum away from gay people?

I’m about 70% (more on some days) percent certain that Blue BOY is gay, so no, I don’t want infringe on his future color developments. As for the kids names, its a long convoluted story. What? You have time? Great! Go grab a cuppa!
When I first began BPR I used our real names. Then a so called friend started posting our home address int eh comments of other bloggers. All of whom I am happy to say immediately deleted the comment for me. At the time, Rainbow man was walking to and from school ( grade One) alone every day. I was worried that some one would read his name on my site, match him to his photo and kidnap him. At the time RM was NOT Stranger Danger smart, and I feared he would assume that if someone knew his name, it would be safe for him to go with them. At that point I decided to enter them into the blogger protection program and equip them with fake names.
We had just let the boys pick the paint colors for their rooms and Blue Boy named himself afterhis room color. His favorite color, at the time was Blue. Now it wavers between red and Pink. Rainbow Man wanted some dorky-assed name I cannot even remember and I told him no, pick a different one, So he chose Rainbow Man, becuase apparently all the colors are some sort of power and so he is the strongest of them all (Don’t ask me, I don’t even want to know) Stuperman at the time was obsessed with Superman but could not properly say the word, hence the T. Annnnd, thats it, I guess.

11. Seriously. Branson, MO was the best you could do? Missouri, for god’s sake? Plus, BTW, Austin, TX is the music capital of the world. Branson can bite me.

Dude. Were you reading a payperpost? Stop It. I want to go on a cruise to the Bahamas, I want to go to Australia and swim with the Great whites, I want to go to Florida and ride the Matterhorn. And yes, I want to go to Texas and ogle the tight cowboy butts. And maybe lick them.

12. What do you hate most about the US? Why?

Bush. That fucker can bite my tight white ass. Our gas hit 1.27/liter today. Go ahead and times that by 3.2 and figure out the proper exchange to see what that is in US gallons. And? It’s reportedly to go up to 1.50 by summer.

13. So, you have Celine Dion and Rush from Canada. How do you feel about that French bitch? (Rush rocks).

I’ve head of Celine Dion, but who the fuck is rush? I’m not a music fan ya know. Well. maybe these guys :




14. Do Canadian Mounties really wear those gay-ass outfits? WHY?

Dude. Rephrase the question please. My Uncle belongs to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. They wear their colors for special events, leading dignitaries, State or officer funerals, the Musical Ride and other important events. For day to day use, they do not wear their colors. And they look imposing and cool, not Gay-Assed, you fucker.

15. I assume you are a Canadian national. What kind of positive affirmations do you tell yourself on a daily basis to keep yourself believing that you are better than us?

Every morning when I wake up, I go pee, thank God I am not under Bushes thumb and then cut myself with razors so I can run in and get stitched up at the local hospital for free.

16. I want a picture of every tattoo that you have. What’s the next one you are going to get? What will it look like? (insert pictures here)

I have attached a photo to this email. It’s actually two tattoos. The first bit, the lettering - which means Mother - or I suck cock well, can’t quite recall, was my test tattoo. I figured that if it hurt too much, at least it would be small and over with soon. As anyone with a tattoo knows, the fuckers are addicting and I soon got my second, the dragonflies. Hubs has half his back covered with two dragons, and so the dragon flies, (loosely a baby dragon) are his boys. I guess mine too, but whatever. Beside each dragon fly is their birth year and initial. Those tattoo’d birth years have saved our asses countless times. Like last year, when the accountant asked us for our middles boys birthdate… Do most parents memorize this type of thing?
Here Is a pic of Hubs Tattoo’s. His lettering, so far as I know, Says I suck cock better. Eventually Hubs will cover his entire back in ink. My next tattoo is a secret. It will be unveiled in One Month and one day. Patience grasshopper.

17. You are obsessed with 7 pounds. 7 POUNDS. Aren’t you being a little selfish for those of us who want to lose 7*100?

Actually, I want to loose about 25 lbs, but right now, even loosing ONE would make me happy. Fucking candy addictions.

18. Canada often feels like the “lost child” of North America. What can we do to fix that? I mean, besides you guys fucking supporting us in our wars (you know, because they are so successful)?

Just hug us. Show us that you love and respect us, and eventually us poor little Canadians will beef up our self-esteem enough to come over and burn down your white house. Again.

19. Your children seem to be perfect except for ONE specific time blue man (I think) wasn’t responding to any punishment. Are you just high all day and don’t notice, or are you doing something that we get wrong over here? If so, what is your advice to the parents of children that drive me fucking nuts over here?

Over all, My kids are freaking amazing. They do, often, annoy the shit out of me at home, becuase they feel safe enough to test limits, but in public they are little angles. I get complements from people in restaurants and stores and off the freaking sidewalks. My advice to parents is SUPER simple. Accept no bulllshit. I have a few, very few, set rules, but if these rules are not followed the kids face immediate punishment, I don’t give a damn where we are, rules are followed or else.
In a store, they are not allowed to walk away from me, ever, or touch anything on shelves or displays. Ever. Begging is out too, but they may suggest different things they see and would like to try. Depending on the price and how they phrase their request, they sometimes get it. More often, we refuse. If a child takes offense at this, Either myself or hubs immediately removes them from the building. The bad child and parent go to the car and sit and wait. And trust me, the kids only want to sit ONCE with me in a hot summer car. They learn quick. ( and all without using physical discipline.I save the spanking for hubs) I do not want to be my kids friend. I want to be their mom. I don’t give a damn if they hate me for it, when they are 30 and not in jail or on welfare, THEN they can be my buddy.

20. Since you are now legally blind, do you get to use the brail on the drive-up ATM?

Fuck you. I’m only blind at night. But I still drive. Don’t tell the cops, OK? Plus I don’t go to the ATM ‘cus if someplace doesn’t want to accept my debit card then they can kiss my ass, I won’t go in there. Money is dirty and ugly, Give me plastic anytime!