Well, I am finally taking time to do weekend wrap-up.  Obviously, I have still not figured out my GD webcam.  I have never owned a camcorder, because I don’t have kids.  Notice a theme on the Xmas tree thing?  I guess since I am not ever going to have kids, I have decided to just do the crap I would have done if I had had kids.  If anyone has any suggestions on a camcorder that also does digital pictures that is a good bargain, let me know.

Anyway, it’s time for Weekend Wrap-Up.

1. Oxymoron has the most saddest of news.   After her friend killed himself, his mother killed herself the day before Thanksgiving.  I am so saddened by these tragedies.

2. I am in the process of revamping my department.  No one seemed to have any comments, which actually makes me feel better about the fact that I have no idea what I am doing.  That means I am not as stupid as I think I am.  Either that, or you all are just as stupid as me.

3. Wayne had absolutely nothing to offer this week.  In fact, everyone was serious this week.  Good in some ways, sad in others.

4. Watchdog paid tribute to his son who passed earlier this year.  This saddens me so deeply as well.  My thoughts are with you, my friend.

5. Avi has obviously never tasted anyone’s jizz before.  For some reason, he is under the god-like delusion that his jizz is so sweet that anyone would want to swallow.  Typical man.

6. Apparently, Britt really can cook.  She was degraded into bringing the orange pop for the kiddies (I assume and hope).  Poor baby.

7. What IS with men?  Fab also thinks that there is some connection between fucking and candy/sweets.  He did say he wouldn’t fuck for M&M’s, but the reference just shows that men think that they could fuck anyone.  Women just get insecure and think that no man would ever want them.  Or maybe, just the UPS guy would want them.  Or a chef.  Or a truck driver.  At least, that’s what Eharmony thinks about me.

8.  Poppy did NINE posts this week.  I think she is bored. She listed the topics of conversation from Thanksgiving.  Man, I wish I had been there.  I could have REALLY jazzed it up.  When you get me drunk enough, I start drawing pictures.  Dirty pics, trying to explain to the guys around what they are NOT doing right, which takes about 400 napkins. 

9.  Sue fall down go boom.

10. No  one has ever sent me a meme.  I still don’t understand them.  So I will give you the answers to a few questions that I have made up below, since I know you are so interested in my life.

My meme:

1. Have you ever been in love?

Only with my dogs.  But not in that way.  I married before out of the delusion that I was in love, but I was really “in like”.

2. When was the last time you had sex?

Depends on what you consider “sex”.  What’s the limit?  Greater than ten seconds? Does there have to be penetration?  Is kissing a requirement?  Does sex with myself count?  If all of the above count  except the last, then sometime a hundred years ago.

3. What do you look like? You obviously don’t look like the short bus in your avatar.

Don’t be too sure about that.  I do look like a bus; I am just not yellow. I am more purple polka-dotty with some orange tied in.  The only skinny thing about me is my ankles.  But I like my hair.  I am pretty when I am thin though.

4. What are you anal about?

Spell-check.  Use it. Damit.  Grammar errors.  Didn’t you go to school and diagram setences?  People being late.  You know, my time is valuable.  You better have been in a car accident, fucker.  People content with mediocrity.  But I have mellowed on that, since I realize we do need people without ambition to carry out daily activities at work for those of us who are superstars.  Supah-star….

5. What’s your favorite thing to do?

Wallowing in self-pity that men are not attracted to me, even when it’s my own fault.  It allows me to rationalize my personal life.

6. Why aren’t you married, or at least involved?

Uh, I am a lesbian?  No, not that, although I have wondered if I am due to the fact that no man wants me.  But the idea of licking another woman’s clit grosses me out horribly.  Hence the fact that I now own sixteen pairs of heels and wear makeup every day.  People were beginning to wonder.  Seriously….That was big blow to my ego.

7. What do you fear the most?

Apparently, wasps.  At least, due to my behavior toward my next door neighbor, who is a very old black woman with severe health issues, turbo-christian and super-sweet.  Have you ever told an old lady to “fuck off”?  I have.  Trust me, it doesn’t feel good in the morning.  I did ask her to “forgive” me since she is a major Christ chick.

8. What do you covet the most?

Money.  And I don’t feel guilty about it.  For me, it’s a matter of security; not to obtain things.  I want what everyone wants; a nice house, nice furniture, etc.  But I don’t need or want the super-nice cars, etc.  I don’t want a Monet painting.  I just want the security in knowing that if I wanted to retire, I could, and that I will never live on the streets.

9. Food or sex?

Um, both?  At the same time?

10. Do you have any bad habits?

Yes.  I pick my lips.  I don’t pick AT them, or chew on them.  I pick the skin right off of them.  Since I was six.  I have no idea why.  I have yet to meet anyone who does what I do.  Chew on, yes.  But pick the skin off and bleed all the time? No.  I guess that’s what makes me special.