TEACHER:       Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA:         Here it is.

TEACHER:      Correct. Now class, who discovered  America?

CLASS:        Maria.

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TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN:      You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER:   Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”

GLENN:     K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L”

TEACHER:   No, that’s wrong

GLENN:     Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

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TEACHER:       Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD:        H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER:       What are you talking about?

DONALD:        Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

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TEACHER:       Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.

WINNIE:        Me!
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TEACHER:      Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN:         Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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TEACHER:       Millie, give me a sentence starting with I.”

MILLIE:        I is…

TEACHER:       No, Millie….. Always say, “I am.”

MILLIE:        All right…  “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”   
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TEACHER:       George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it.    Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?

LOUIS:         Because George still had the ax in his hand. 

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TEACHER:       Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON:         No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

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TEACHER:      Clyde, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s.   Did you copy his?

CLYDE:        No, teacher, it’s the same dog.

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TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD:       A teacher