• Have you ever wondered why aircraft emergency exit doors open inward?
• When everyone is platinum, does that make coach special?
• Why do lighters in pockets not set off the metal detector, but 1/4 oz earrings do?
• Why does OrthoNovum brand birth control cost $2.00 a month in Mexico, but $35 a month in the US? Is it because printing in spanish on the packaging is cheaper?
• Is it possible that the real cause of alcoholism is poor math skills? A beer is $2.00, but 60 Xanax are about $10.00. And, no hangover.
• Is anyone having trouble breathing oxygen now that 80% of the rainforest is gone? Wasn’t 80% missing ten years ago? Who is responsible for this math? Are they an alcoholic?
• The day customer service died is the day consumers lost the right to choose.
• The company is always right.
• Consultant: Highly-paid subject matter expert hired to be ignored. Until six months later, when the warnings become reality.
• If it takes a village to raise a child, and you have 45,000 children, doesn’t that just make you a welfare city?
• If the Peter Principle exists, what does that make the President?
• If 80% of your problems come from 20% of your customers, why are you still trying to be all things to all people?

Offensive Stuff

• Why is it so disturbing that some people aren’t found until four or five days after they die?  What’s abnormal about that?
• Why are we afraid of the evil Mexicans coming over and cleaning toilets and doing construction? Is it really so awful, or are we just trying to take focus off of Iraq?
• Why is infanticide immoral?  Isnt’t his a matter of socially-accepted norms?  Aren’t all behaviors compared against socially-accepted norms for acceptability?
• Why does one go to hell for committing adultery with no absolution available, but he or she is absolved for murder?  Shouldn’t Catholics be killing more people than sleeping with them?
• Good news.  When you die, you are the greatest person in the world to everyone in your life.  Noone remembers what an asshole you really were.  Especially when money is involved.
• Why is it more horrific that 3000 civilians died in 9/11, but a crapload more civilians died in previous wars?

Stupid Statements

• Why do we defend mean people by saying, “Well you just don’t know him (or her).  He (She) is a really nice person inside.”… Can we gut him/her and find out?
• Can people who aren’t “the sharpest knife in the block” cut it in life?
• When I wake up and don’t know where I am when traveling, I pretend I am a prostitute rather than just plain stupid.
• If you tell me you hate people,  then why are you still talking to me?

Other peoples’ input:

• Why do bars have parking lots?