Okay, I did have a couple of funny things happen to me yesterday.  Here they are.

1. I took the boys to the vets to get groomed.  Since this was a new groomer to me, I had to fill out papework.  In the area that you fill out for each animal, there is a question regarding whether the dog is female or male.  The question was listed as follows, I am not kidding. I even said it out loud without realizing it, and the whole waiting area heard me and started laughing:

Select the pet’s sex (circle all that apply):           male                     female

You cannot make this shit up.

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 2. I woke up from a dream this morning, around 5:30 a.m.  I am not kidding, this was really the dream.

I had died, and was being “processed” in the afterlife.  I was my normal current age.  I was stuck in some god-awful federal-looking building.  I sat down across from a guy who looked to be about 28 years old… Normal looking guy, except he was wearing 70’s white.  He pulls out a file, and starts to review it.  He starts to get this panicked look on his face, and of course, me, jaded as usual, am just sitting there looking at him, bored to death with one eyebrow raised.

He said to me, “Ma’am” (that was cute, since I wasn’t all that f’ing much older than him), “Ma’am”, “I am looking here, and it appears that you have had a number of people do some pretty awful things to you.”

 I said, “Yeah? And?” 

He said, “Um, well, there is an upper limit on the amount of bad things allowed for a lifetime.” 

I looked at him and said, “Are you telling me that I had more bad things happen to me than I was supposed to have?”,

He said, “Yes, I am very sorry.  I guess because you are used to it, you are not surprised, and do not react, but you got stuck in a glitch.  Unfortunately, your file ended up getting stuck on the bad conveyor belt where we create good and bad experiences in a person’s life.  Ma’am, I am so incredibly sorry.” 

 I looked back at him, without any emotion, and said again,”You mean, I wasn’t supposed to have this much shit happen in my life?” He said, “No ma’am.”.

I stood up, and said, “Fuck you, I am never banking with you again.”  And I walked out.

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Again, you cannot make this shit up.